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Thread: Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Rational BYU fans and other Myths We Perpetuate with Kids

  1. #1

    Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Rational BYU fans and other Myths We Perpetuate with Kids

    So, we do the Santa thing in our house, of course. I've told my wife that I won't lie to my kids about it, but that I'll also play along. She goes to some lengths to make things 'fun' for the kids, like on St Patrick's day she does some mischief around the house and dies the milk green and leaves behind gold coins and says a leprechaun did it. She does some other stuff like that with the Easter Bunny.

    My wife particularly loves Christmas and loves the whole Santa thing. Loves it. She has said that she hopes the kids never figure it out.

    So this year, my kindergartner figured out that there wasn't an Easter Bunny. We hadn't pushed that one hard, but she said, "That just doesn't make sense. There is no giant bunny that delivers eggs."

    So today, on her birthday while her and I are eating some cake, she says, "Santa Claus isn't real is he?"

    Just like that a 6yo pins me between her and my wife.

    I sit there for a minute and say, "That is a weird thing to ask, why would you think that?" She says, "Because the Easter Bunny isn't real, and so that probably means that he isn't real too." So I sit there for a second again and then say, "So who brought you those presents?" "You did." "And who ate the cookies and drank the milk?" "You did." "Won't you be sad if Santa doesn't exist?" "No, its okay, I don't care..."

    So I said, "You are going to have to think about that yourself and figure it out." That is the extent I can go to misleading my kids, which frankly was a lot further than I wanted to go. My wife would be devastated to know that part is over for her. I personally think it is fine, but have any of you had your kids figure it out that early? At the very least I need to make sure she doesn't out it to other kids.

    My older son figured it out pretty early as well. He wondered why we would make up stories like that. We told him that it was for fun, but also a way so that we could help out other people too, without them feeling bad, that Santa Claus was a personification of an idea of giving gifts anonymously to others. He was cool with that as well.

    Maybe I just need to leave our kids out of that and trick my wife into believing he is real.

  2. #2
    I've not misled my kids about the Santa, the Easter Bunny, Jesus or the Golden Plates. I try to treat them as I would have had my parents treat me, optimally.
    One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike -- and yet it is the most precious thing we have.

    --Albert Einstein

    The fact that life evolved out of nearly nothing, some 10 billion years after the universe evolved out of literally nothing, is a fact so staggering that I would be mad to attempt words to do it justice.

    --Richard Dawkins

    Be kind to all, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

    --Philo

  3. #3
    Malleus Cougarorum Solon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    I've not misled my kids about the Santa, the Easter Bunny, Jesus or the Golden Plates. I try to treat them as I would have had my parents treat me, optimally.
    I love Santa because he's a non-denominational embodiment of the good in human nature: love, generosity, hope, wonderment, innocence.
    (not that it has to be non-denominational; just that it's great to have something everyone can agree is good)

    My kid probably only has a year or two left before she figures it out, but I love the idea of Santa.
    σοφῷ ἀνδρὶ Ἑλλὰς πάντα.
    -- Flavius Philostratus, Life of Apollonius 1.35.2.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    I've not misled my kids about the Santa, the Easter Bunny, Jesus or the Golden Plates. I try to treat them as I would have had my parents treat me, optimally.
    Well sheesh, after seeing results of your parent's approach, now I'm starting to feel like maybe I should keep Santa Claus going.

  5. #5
    I am entirely jealous of Santa. I don't appreciate that he get the credit for all the great gifts.

    My wife is of the opinion that we only have one opportunity to give our children a belief in a supernatural being or person. If we teach them about the Easter Bunny and take him away, then Santa and take him away, it is too easy for them to similarly walk away from a belief in God.

    And if they choose not to believe in God, they can make that choice when they turn 18.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by NorthwestUteFan View Post
    I
    My wife is of the opinion that we only have one opportunity to give our children a belief in a supernatural being or person. If we teach them about the Easter Bunny and take him away, then Santa and take him away, it is too easy for them to similarly walk away from a belief in God.
    I've heard this sentiment before. My brother in law is a particularly strong proponent of it. And yet, I've not heard one story of a kid losing belief in God directly because of the Santa tradition.

    I'd say most of my childhood peers were raised with Santa and God, and yet as adults we all seemed to manage to slough off the one that's a myth and base our lives around the one who is real with no problem. Any kid who hits a crisis of faith because of Santa has to be a major outlier, I would think. A child is far more likely to question the existence of God if he senses that his parents' belief in God is insincere or shaky.

    I just don't think the belief in Santa and God are as similar as some fear it is. They're totally different. Sure, I'm guiding my kids along with my belief in God now, but at some point they'll have to stand on their own two feet and figure it out for themselves as adults and I'll leave them to that process. I know they have to do that themselves.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by FountainOfUte View Post
    I've heard this sentiment before. My brother in law is a particularly strong proponent of it. And yet, I've not heard one story of a kid losing belief in God directly because of the Santa tradition.

    I'd say most of my childhood peers were raised with Santa and God, and yet as adults we all seemed to manage to slough off the one that's a myth and base our lives around the one who is real with no problem. Any kid who hits a crisis of faith because of Santa has to be a major outlier, I would think. A child is far more likely to question the existence of God if he senses that his parents' belief in God is insincere or shaky.

    I just don't think the belief in Santa and God are as similar as some fear it is. They're totally different. Sure, I'm guiding my kids along with my belief in God now, but at some point they'll have to stand on their own two feet and figure it out for themselves as adults and I'll leave them to that process. I know they have to do that themselves.
    I don't have a problem with them believing in Santa, but I do have a problem with straight up lying to them about it. They'll be able to discern between truth and fiction, and prove they can do it at barely 6 years of age, but I also want them to know that I will always tell them the truth.

    So here was the conversation this morning, because she isn't the type to let me evade questioning. She'll be an outstanding attorney some day:

    "So, you never answered me about Santa Claus. He isn't real is he?"
    "No, not the way you may have thought."
    "I knew it!"
    "Does that make you sad to know that?"
    "No, because it really doesn't change anything."
    "Not really. But I want you to know why we do Santa Claus, at least in our house. Santa Claus is an idea that there are good people in the world who give to others for no other reason but love. It also makes it so that we can help make sure that other kids have Christmas presents and more when maybe their parents can't afford it. So we use Santa Claus to make the holiday a little more fun, but also to help other people. It is easy to leave a gift at someone's house from Santa Claus and then they don't know who we are; because it is definitely more fun to help people without them knowing it and watching them be surprised. So Santa Claus is really about helping other people and doing nice things for people without taking the credit."

    She then chimed in on a few little things we did around Christmas anonymously and said, "I like this secret! Who can we be Santa Claus for this year?" So I explained to her that she couldn't tell her friends and part of the fun was the secret. She is notoriously bad at keeping a secret, so that is a concern for us too.

    So she seems happy about it, I think what I said was accurate, because that is what it has always been for me anyway.

    Oh, and NorthWest, we do the opposite, Santa always brought a few small things (typically things that could be built like toys, vs things that are manufactured) but the good gifts came from us.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    I've not misled my kids about the Santa, the Easter Bunny, Jesus or the Golden Plates. I try to treat them as I would have had my parents treat me, optimally.
    I'm curious if there are any areas where you have elected to treat them sub-optimally.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    I don't have a problem with them believing in Santa, but I do have a problem with straight up lying to them about it. They'll be able to discern between truth and fiction, and prove they can do it at barely 6 years of age, but I also want them to know that I will always tell them the truth.

    So here was the conversation this morning, because she isn't the type to let me evade questioning. She'll be an outstanding attorney some day:

    "So, you never answered me about Santa Claus. He isn't real is he?"
    "No, not the way you may have thought."
    "I knew it!"
    "Does that make you sad to know that?"
    "No, because it really doesn't change anything."
    "Not really. But I want you to know why we do Santa Claus, at least in our house. Santa Claus is an idea that there are good people in the world who give to others for no other reason but love. It also makes it so that we can help make sure that other kids have Christmas presents and more when maybe their parents can't afford it. So we use Santa Claus to make the holiday a little more fun, but also to help other people. It is easy to leave a gift at someone's house from Santa Claus and then they don't know who we are; because it is definitely more fun to help people without them knowing it and watching them be surprised. So Santa Claus is really about helping other people and doing nice things for people without taking the credit."

    She then chimed in on a few little things we did around Christmas anonymously and said, "I like this secret! Who can we be Santa Claus for this year?" So I explained to her that she couldn't tell her friends and part of the fun was the secret. She is notoriously bad at keeping a secret, so that is a concern for us too.

    So she seems happy about it, I think what I said was accurate, because that is what it has always been for me anyway.

    Oh, and NorthWest, we do the opposite, Santa always brought a few small things (typically things that could be built like toys, vs things that are manufactured) but the good gifts came from us.
    Not quite optimal parenting, but I guess it's close enough. At least from you.

    And Seattle, I'm just screwing with you.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Scratch View Post
    Not quite optimal parenting, but I guess it's close enough. At least from you.

    And Seattle, I'm just screwing with you.
    That just gave me a business idea for you. You should sell an earpiece where you can talk into someone's ear telling them what to say to their kids.

    "Daddy, do you love me?"
    (Dad puts hand up to his ear, scratch whispers, "Yes, with some minor provisions")
    "Yes, with some minor provisions..."

  11. #11
    My children are very rational and I am certain they will eventually come to their own decisions that will work best in their own lives.

    St Nicholas was a real person who actually lived, just as Jesus was most likely a real person who actually lived. However the legends that have grown up around each have certainly taken the meanings attributed to each character to an entirely new level, far surpassing reality.

    The bottom line is I am not comfortable lying to my kids about Santa Claus, although we do play the "Santa is watching you!" game with our kids as Christmas approaches. The kids fully understand that Mom and Dad are Santa, but they play along in the spirit of the season because in past years Santa has returned some big things to the store...

  12. #12
    Malleus Cougarorum Solon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    I don't have a problem with them believing in Santa, but I do have a problem with straight up lying to them about it. They'll be able to discern between truth and fiction, and prove they can do it at barely 6 years of age, but I also want them to know that I will always tell them the truth.

    So here was the conversation this morning, because she isn't the type to let me evade questioning. She'll be an outstanding attorney some day:

    "So, you never answered me about Santa Claus. He isn't real is he?"
    "No, not the way you may have thought."
    "I knew it!"
    "Does that make you sad to know that?"
    "No, because it really doesn't change anything."
    "Not really. But I want you to know why we do Santa Claus, at least in our house. Santa Claus is an idea that there are good people in the world who give to others for no other reason but love. It also makes it so that we can help make sure that other kids have Christmas presents and more when maybe their parents can't afford it. So we use Santa Claus to make the holiday a little more fun, but also to help other people. It is easy to leave a gift at someone's house from Santa Claus and then they don't know who we are; because it is definitely more fun to help people without them knowing it and watching them be surprised. So Santa Claus is really about helping other people and doing nice things for people without taking the credit."

    She then chimed in on a few little things we did around Christmas anonymously and said, "I like this secret! Who can we be Santa Claus for this year?" So I explained to her that she couldn't tell her friends and part of the fun was the secret. She is notoriously bad at keeping a secret, so that is a concern for us too.

    So she seems happy about it, I think what I said was accurate, because that is what it has always been for me anyway.

    Oh, and NorthWest, we do the opposite, Santa always brought a few small things (typically things that could be built like toys, vs things that are manufactured) but the good gifts came from us.
    Sounds like you're a great parent.

    The youtube videos suggest otherwise, but this looks pretty good . . .
    σοφῷ ἀνδρὶ Ἑλλὰς πάντα.
    -- Flavius Philostratus, Life of Apollonius 1.35.2.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Solon View Post
    Sounds like you're a great parent.

    . .
    I agree. Good job, Rocker.

  14. #14
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    This seems to fit here. It's a pretty funny insight into our American holiday culture.

    How big is this Easter bunny fellow anyway?

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

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