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Thread: I Wish I Knew How to Quit You - The BYU Sports Thread

  1. #1411
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    I have three other gentlemen and one embarrassed wife who can verify it. It has been running joke ever since, where one of those guys will say something not at all objectionable and someone else will say, "I think you better go..."
    What will he do when you tell him that you are a Democrat? He might pop an aneurism.

  2. #1412
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NorthwestUteFan View Post
    What will he do when you tell him that you are a Democrat? He might pop an aneurism.
    eek.gif Just goes to show...you think you know someone, and then....

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  3. #1413
    Malleus Cougarorum Solon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    I wonder if I have met this guy. True story. A few years back in was in an Elder's Quorum Presidency a new couple had moved into the area and we went by to visit them. Having a fairly standard visit and someone brings up something about sports and he mentions he is a big time BYU fan and proceeds on this Max Hall-esque diatribe about how Ute fans are the worst people and he can't stand to even be around them and a whole bunch of other nonsense. Really intense, really over the top. So after that he asks us who we root for and so I say pointing to the guy next to me, "Well we both got our undergraduate and graduate degrees at the U..." and then pointing to the two other guys there, "And he is in Medical School there right now, and he is getting his business degree... But that is okay, we can all be friends except one or two days a year..." and laugh.

    He gets super angry, stands up and says, "Yeah, I think you guys better go..." So I said, "Hey, no big deal, we're all pretty laid back about this sort of stuff... we're all friends here." And he insisted that we leave with a very embarrassed wife sitting stunned in the background.

    Seriously nuts. 100% not made up.

    To this day he still won't talk to me. I think he has some mental issues or something. Never approached anything like it before or after, but wondered how someone could get so twisted up.
    This is a great story.
    I think you should go out of your way to antagonize & taunt this guy.

    About 10 years ago, I was living in Pennsylvania and going to school. A new guy in the LDS ward that I didn't know at all called me on the day of the BYU-Utah football game & started telling me how BYU was going to kill Utah and he hoped I was ready to get crushed. Puzzled, I asked him how he even knew that I was a U of U graduate, and he said that he had asked around the ward to find one.

    I told him that out there in Pennsylvania (I think he had recently moved from Provo), people didn't really get worked up about a MWC game, that sure I would root for my team but that I wasn't really much of a trash-talker - especially to people I barely knew.

    This was the Ratliff year.
    Then Ratliff & the team pulled out the OT win and this guy never talked to me again. This is why I will love Ratliff forever.
    σοφῷ ἀνδρὶ Ἑλλὰς πάντα.
    -- Flavius Philostratus, Life of Apollonius 1.35.2.

  4. #1414
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solon View Post
    This is a great story.
    I think you should go out of your way to antagonize & taunt this guy.

    About 10 years ago, I was living in Pennsylvania and going to school. A new guy in the LDS ward that I didn't know at all called me on the day of the BYU-Utah football game & started telling me how BYU was going to kill Utah and he hoped I was ready to get crushed. Puzzled, I asked him how he even knew that I was a U of U graduate, and he said that he had asked around the ward to find one.

    I told him that out there in Pennsylvania (I think he had recently moved from Provo), people didn't really get worked up about a MWC game, that sure I would root for my team but that I wasn't really much of a trash-talker - especially to people I barely knew.

    This was the Ratliff year.
    Then Ratliff & the team pulled out the OT win and this guy never talked to me again. This is why I will love Ratliff forever.
    I wonder if there are stories like this from the BYU side. I am doubtful that there are.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  5. #1415
    Five-O Diehard Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    I wonder if there are stories like this from the BYU side. I am doubtful that there are.
    Just like there aren't stories of the U giving actual free haircuts on the concourse during an athletic event. (Yes, this was done down there, years before they asked for their light sticks back)

  6. #1416
    Quote Originally Posted by Solon View Post
    This is a great story.
    I think you should go out of your way to antagonize & taunt this guy.

    About 10 years ago, I was living in Pennsylvania and going to school. A new guy in the LDS ward that I didn't know at all called me on the day of the BYU-Utah football game & started telling me how BYU was going to kill Utah and he hoped I was ready to get crushed. Puzzled, I asked him how he even knew that I was a U of U graduate, and he said that he had asked around the ward to find one.

    I told him that out there in Pennsylvania (I think he had recently moved from Provo), people didn't really get worked up about a MWC game, that sure I would root for my team but that I wasn't really much of a trash-talker - especially to people I barely knew.

    This was the Ratliff year.
    Then Ratliff & the team pulled out the OT win and this guy never talked to me again. This is why I will love Ratliff forever.
    Wow. That's insanity. I can't imagine the nerve to call someone you've never met just to talk trash about a football game regarding two mediocre teams. Here in Vegas, I have a minivan park next to me every morning. There our cars sit next to each other every day, a drum and feather on one rear window and a Yahoo sticker on the other. We've done this for years and have never uttered a word to each other. Pretty sure that he's an engineer though, so there wouldn't be much to say anyway.

  7. #1417
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-Ute View Post
    Wow. That's insanity. I can't imagine the nerve to call someone you've never met just to talk trash about a football game regarding two mediocre teams. Here in Vegas, I have a minivan park next to me every morning. There our cars sit next to each other every day, a drum and feather on one rear window and a Yahoo sticker on the other. We've done this for years and have never uttered a word to each other. Pretty sure that he's an engineer though, so there wouldn't be much to say anyway.
    The real question here that I need a definitive answer to is what dude drives a minivan to work?

  8. #1418
    Quote Originally Posted by Scratch View Post
    The real question here that I need a definitive answer to is what dude drives a minivan to work?
    We had a couple in our ward who drove a minivan. They did not have children, nor were they expecting. I was constantly confused.

  9. #1419
    Administrator U-Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-Ute View Post
    Wow. That's insanity. I can't imagine the nerve to call someone you've never met just to talk trash about a football game regarding two mediocre teams. Here in Vegas, I have a minivan park next to me every morning. There our cars sit next to each other every day, a drum and feather on one rear window and a Yahoo sticker on the other. We've done this for years and have never uttered a word to each other. Pretty sure that he's an engineer though, so there wouldn't be much to say anyway.
    So he must not have gone to BYU then.

  10. #1420
    Quote Originally Posted by Scratch View Post
    The real question here that I need a definitive answer to is what dude drives a minivan to work?
    It's a good question. For a long time he drove, what was probably a '98 Honda Civic. All of a sudden, he started showing up in a spawned out Sienna. Seemed pretty obvious that his wife got an upgrade. I just haven't figured out if the upgrade was just a new car or a new dude as well.

  11. #1421
    Quote Originally Posted by U-Ute View Post
    So he must not have gone to BYU then.
    If he is competent, then most assuredly did not go to byu.

  12. #1422
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-Ute View Post
    ...he started showing up in a spawned out Sienna.
    A "spawned out" minivan sounds really, really gross. Best case interpretation is that it's full of dead salmon.

  13. #1423
    Administrator U-Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrj84105 View Post
    A "spawned out" minivan sounds really, really gross. Best case interpretation is that it's full of dead salmon.
    Indeed.


  14. #1424
    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    I wonder if there are stories like this from the BYU side. I am doubtful that there are.
    I kick BYU people out of my house all the time.

  15. #1425
    Five-O Diehard Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sancho View Post
    I kick BYU people out of my house all the time.
    The bigger question is how do they get into your house

  16. #1426
    Quote Originally Posted by Diehard Ute View Post
    The bigger question is how do they get into your house
    Ha!

    I invite them. If they wear BYU apparel, they're gone. I especially like to make their kids cry.

  17. #1427
    Quote Originally Posted by Diehard Ute View Post
    The bigger question is how do they get into your house
    His wife's a sucker for the curative powers of oils and juice from obscure fruits.

  18. #1428
    Five-O Diehard Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scratch View Post
    His wife's a sucker for the curative powers of oils and juice from obscure fruits.
    Haha

  19. #1429
    Quote Originally Posted by Scratch View Post
    His wife's a sucker for the curative powers of oils and juice from obscure fruits.
    "...but they are ESSENTIAL! It says so right in the name!"

  20. #1430
    Quote Originally Posted by sancho View Post
    Ha!

    I invite them. If they wear BYU apparel, they're gone. I especially like to make their kids cry.
    I would hate to see what happens if they wear a Stanford sweatshirt.

  21. #1431
    Quote Originally Posted by NorthwestUteFan View Post
    I would hate to see what happens if they wear a Stanford sweatshirt.
    You'll never see them. He buries them in the back yard.
    “To me there is no dishonor in being wrong and learning. There is dishonor in willful ignorance and there is dishonor in disrespect.” James Hatch, former Navy Seal and current Yale student.

  22. #1432
    Quote Originally Posted by chrisrenrut View Post
    You'll never see them. He buries them in the back yard.
    Is that before, or after he feeds them to his dozens of cats?

  23. #1433
    I think I found a picture of the "spawned out" minivan from your story, Nevada plates and all.
    Minivan.jpg

  24. #1434
    Quote Originally Posted by jrj84105 View Post
    A "spawned out" minivan sounds really, really gross. Best case interpretation is that it's full of dead salmon.
    Sorry. Professional jargon leak. You're right, it did sound gross and totally matches the interior of this thing. I've got four kids and the inside of my cars look magnitudes more normal.

  25. #1435
    Quote Originally Posted by jrj84105 View Post
    I think I found a picture of the "spawned out" minivan from your story, Nevada plates and all.
    Minivan.jpg
    Ha! Perfect. This either belongs in the polygamous thread (I can verify that this doesn't belong to the Brown's) or these poor folks really need to introduce their daughters to the Planned Parenthood office.

  26. #1436
    Malleus Cougarorum Solon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrj84105 View Post
    I think I found a picture of the "spawned out" minivan from your story, Nevada plates and all.
    Minivan.jpg
    LOL. This van's stickers remind me of an article in The Economist awhile back.

    http://www.economist.com/news/united...rtraits-wheels

    I recently saw a rear-window sticker featuring two adults, no kids, both looking really happy & sitting on piles of ca$h. Made me laugh.
    σοφῷ ἀνδρὶ Ἑλλὰς πάντα.
    -- Flavius Philostratus, Life of Apollonius 1.35.2.

  27. #1437
    Quote Originally Posted by Solon View Post
    LOL. This van's stickers remind me of an article in The Economist awhile back.

    http://www.economist.com/news/united...rtraits-wheels

    I recently saw a rear-window sticker featuring two adults, no kids, both looking really happy & sitting on piles of ca$h. Made me laugh.
    I've always wanted to put one on, then x out a couple of the kids.

  28. #1438
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    I wonder if I have met this guy. True story. A few years back in was in an Elder's Quorum Presidency a new couple had moved into the area and we went by to visit them. Having a fairly standard visit and someone brings up something about sports and he mentions he is a big time BYU fan and proceeds on this Max Hall-esque diatribe about how Ute fans are the worst people and he can't stand to even be around them and a whole bunch of other nonsense. Really intense, really over the top. So after that he asks us who we root for and so I say pointing to the guy next to me, "Well we both got our undergraduate and graduate degrees at the U..." and then pointing to the two other guys there, "And he is in Medical School there right now, and he is getting his business degree... But that is okay, we can all be friends except one or two days a year..." and laugh.

    He gets super angry, stands up and says, "Yeah, I think you guys better go..." So I said, "Hey, no big deal, we're all pretty laid back about this sort of stuff... we're all friends here." And he insisted that we leave with a very embarrassed wife sitting stunned in the background.

    Seriously nuts. 100% not made up.

    To this day he still won't talk to me. I think he has some mental issues or something. Never approached anything like it before or after, but wondered how someone could get so twisted up.
    That's epic. Please tell me you live in Utah. (I think you do, but need confirmation as to the geographic origin of this story.)

  29. #1439
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-Ute View Post
    From the Cougbored:
    I gotta know where this happened.

    If it's in Utah, the BYU fan should be used to it.

    If it's out of state, the BYU fan will tell you he never thought of Utah as a rival because he didn't grow up there.

    My guess its somewhere in the Intermountain West, outside of Utah.

  30. #1440

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