Offseason Power Rankings

[sancho]

My brother's top 5 Van Halen songs:

1) Panama
2) Aint Talking Bout Love
3) Eruption/You Really Got Me
4) Dance the Night Away
5) Beautiful Girls

Clearly, he's a David Lee Roth guy.

[Scratch]

I used to like Van Halen. Then I turned 14.

[Scratch]

I went through a "too cool for Van Halen" phase too. Then I found that I rarely turned the station when they come on like I do for, say, Kansas or Foreigner.

If your standard for quality is "better than Kansas or Foreigner" then yes, Van Halen is quality.

[chrisrenrut]

For some reason, Van Hagar's "Why can't this be love" has been stuck in my head lately. It does not belong in any power ranking, on in my head for that matter.

[SoCalPat]

My Top 5 VH songs with DLR:
5. So This Is Love
4. Ain't Talking 'Bout Love
3. Panama
2. D.O.A.
1. Everybody Wants Some

My Top 5 VH songs with Sammy
5. Top of the World
4. Dreams
3. Cabo Wabo
2. Runaround
1. Best of Both Worlds

[Damage U]

top 5 ways to order steak:

1) medium rare
2) medium rare
3) medium rare
4) medium rare
5) medium rare
fify

[Scratch]

fify

You beat me to it.

[Damage U]

I'll bite on the VH list as well.

1. Humans Being
2. Right Now
3. Panama
4. Runnin' with the Devil
5. Hot for Teacher

[FountainOfUte]

Hey, there's nothing wrong with some Van Halen. I mean, they're not in my top 10, but man does not live by bread alone. (And by "bread" I don't mean "Bread").

My VH list:

1. Ice Cream Man
2. Unchained
3. Me Wise Magic
4. 5150 (love that intro!)
5. Panama

[Scratch]

Fine, I'll play along with VH. I will also adopt Damage's strategy for rating steak in doing so. Here you go:

1. Hot for Teacher (music video version)
2. Hot for Teacher (music video version)
3. Hot for Teacher (music video version)
4. Hot for Teacher (music video version)
5. Hot for Teacher (music video version)

[Applejack]

Fine, I'll play along with VH. I will also adopt Damage's strategy for rating steak in doing so. Here you go:

1. Hot for Teacher (music video version)
2. Hot for Teacher (music video version)
3. Hot for Teacher (music video version)
4. Hot for Teacher (music video version)
5. Hot for Teacher (music video version)

Scratch is dominating this thread.

Worst bands of all-time (based on the ratio of quality/amount of radio air play):

1. Eagles
2. Aerosmith
3. Van Halen
4. Steve Miller Band
5. Heart

[Applejack]

Can't we find room for Yes, Boston, or Sweet Home Alabama on that list? Ooh, and Steely Dan.

Boston is close. i might consider them over Heart because they get way more airplay - but Magic Man is just sooooo bad.

Yes isn't played that often. Roundabout and One is the Loneliest Number are their only staples.

By Sweet Home, I think you mean the Skynnrd. FREEBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like Steely Dan. :Ashamed:

[Scratch]

Scratch is dominating this thread.

Worst bands of all-time (based on the ratio of quality/amount of radio air play):

1. Eagles
2. Aerosmith
3. Van Halen
4. Steve Miller Band
5. Heart

Heart and Steve Miller have to be 1 and 2 on this list. There is no other option.

Journey and Foreigner both belong on the list, but I have no idea which songs are Journey songs and which are Foreigner songs so I can't determine exactly where they should rank, but they have to be on this list (but again, obviously after someone who decided it was a good idea to rhyme "Texas" with "facts is" and "El Paso" with "hassle") (clap-clap-clap-clap-clap).

[Scratch]

Oh, and old school Aerosmith rocks. Jerk.

[Applejack]

Top 5 Skittles Flavors:

1) Green
2) Orange
3) Yellow
4) Red
5) Purple

Here's a fun game - do a blind taste test of Skittles (put one of each flavor in a cup, eat, and then see which one is missing). I've done this on a quasi-scientific level. Basically, you can only distinguish the yellow.

[Brian]

top 5 words that don't rhyme with "carrot"

5: bunion
4: sword
3: washer
2: corn
1: wispy

[Diehard Ute]

Top 5 Chickens:

1) Rotisserie
2) Fried
3) Smoked
4) Curry
5) Grilled

Oh I thought #1 would be anyone who goes to BYU.

[Scratch]

top 5 words that don't rhyme with "carrot"

5: bunion
4: sword
3: washer
2: corn
1: wispy

Steve Miller would totally dominate this category.

That's what's known as a "callback," kids.

[chrisrenrut]

top 5 words that don't rhyme with "carrot"

5: bunion
4: sword
3: washer
2: corn
1: wispy

My version:
5: maelstrom
4: protuberance
3:knickknack
2: nomenclature
1: phlegm

[Applejack]

Out the door to Rocky Mountain National Park in a few minutes. Here's a way too hard power ranking:

Top National Parks

1) Yellowstone
2) Yosemite
3) Great Smokey Mountain
4) Olympic Peninsula
5) Zion

Really tough to leave some places (Grand Teton, Glacier, Voyageur, Shenandoah,......) off. I've never been to the Alaskan parks, so that's easier.

Somebody do a worst five national parks power ranking while I'm gone.

I haven't been to all of the National Parks, but I have been to almost all of the 37 (thirty-seven!>?!?!?! Suck it, Utah!) National Parks in D.C. Here are the worst:

1. Dupont Circle - it's a traffic circle
2. The White House - pretty lame National Park that you can only visit if your Senator arranges for a tour.
3. Anacostia Park - D.C. is a much nicer city than it was ten years ago. Anacostia, unfortunately, is not.
4. MLK Memorial - I think they really messed up this memorial. The King statue is kind of Disneyesque and they used paraphrased quotes of one of the greatest orators of all time. Thumbs down, D.C.
5. The Mall - The museums on the mall are great, but the mall itself is a shadeless, grassless, foodless wasteland filled with grumpy tourists.

[LA Ute]

I haven't been to all of the National Parks, but I have been to almost all of the 37 (thirty-seven!>?!?!?! Suck it, Utah!) National Parks in D.C. Here are the worst:

1. Dupont Circle - it's a traffic circle
2. The White House - pretty lame National Park that you can only visit if your Senator arranges for a tour.
3. Anacostia Park - D.C. is a much nicer city than it was ten years ago. Anacostia, unfortunately, is not.
4. MLK Memorial - I think they really messed up this memorial. The King statue is kind of Disneyesque and they used paraphrased quotes of one of the greatest orators of all time. Thumbs down, D.C.
5. The Mall - The museums on the mall are great, but the mall itself is a shadeless, grassless, foodless wasteland filled with grumpy tourists.

I've long wondered why more money isn't poured into the Mall. It wouldn't take that much to keep it nice. After all, it's probably the #1 tourist attraction in the national city.

[LA Ute]

Top 5 fictional metals:

1) Adamantium
2) Vibranium
3) Mithril
4) Kryptonite
5) Unobtainium

You left off administratium. Google it.

[Scratch]

Top 5 fictional metals:

1) Adamantium
2) Vibranium
3) Mithril
4) Kryptonite
5) Unobtainium

Is kryptonite a metal?

[LA Ute]

You guys are no fun.

https://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/administ.htm

[LuckyUte]

Board Games Power Ranking

1. Scrabble
2. Risk
3. Monopoly
4. Clue
5. Life

[LuckyUte]

Super Hero Attributes

1. X-ray vision
2. Ability to Fly
3. Heat Vision
4. Super Strength
5. Invunerability

[Dwight Schr-Ute]

Top 5 (This) Summer Sporting Events

1. World Cup
2. Tour de France
3.
4.
5. Baseball

[LA Ute]

Top 5 (This) Summer Sporting Events

1. World Cup
2. Tour de France
3.
4.
5. Baseball

3. Wimbledon (for my wife the tennis fan, at least).

Honorable Mention: Utah's season-opening football game on August 26. Still summer!

[LA Ute]

Top 5 "big idea" inspirational movies:

1. A Man for All Seasons

2. Lincoln

3. Schindler's List

4. Gandhi

5. Chariots of Fire (and no, it was not about Sabbath observance)

I'm sure I have forgotten some. "The Best Years of Our Lives" probably fits in somewhere.

[chrisrenrut]

Day hikes in SLC-

1- Mt Olympus (Accessible, outstanding views of the valley)
2- Lake Blanch (Amazing alpine scenery at top with Sundail peak)
3- Lone Peak (tough, but the upper cirque and cliffs are amazing, reminiscent of Yosemite)
4- Red Pine (the Little Cottonwood version of Lake Blanch)
5- Bell Canyon

[Applejack]

You are all posting readings that are too long. Don't you know this is the twitter era?

Top longest things posted in the Kelley thread:

1) 16,689 words - Northwest's post of a chapter in a book. Northwest said something about a Stanford guy, but the thing says he teaches at IUPUI. I'm about 500 words in, but it's basically unreadable. Every sentence is footnoted at least once. Is this what reading academic history is like? Where's Solon?

2) 9,321 words - The Kate Kelley brief.

3) 7,354 words - Church=Gospel article posted (twice) by LA. I'm about 2,000 words in. Great article so far. Makes me feel guilty about my home teaching.

4) 2,938 words - Wikipedia article on Junia, posted by me. I did not read all 3,000 words.

5) 2,214 words - News story posted by Diehard about a guy in a broadway show. I haven't made it to this one yet.

Too long; didn't read.

[LA Ute]

You are all posting readings that are too long. Don't you know this is the twitter era?

Top longest things posted in the Kelley thread:

3) 7,354 words - Church=Gospel article posted (twice) by LA. I'm about 2,000 words in. Great article so far. Makes me feel guilty about my home teaching.

Whoops. Well, I hope everyone enjoys it twice as much.

[chrisrenrut]

Top 5 worst fast food chains-

1- Burger King- Once a year I give it another try. I always regret it.
2- tie- Taco Bell, Del Taco- Don't stray too far from a bathroom after eating at either
3- Arby's- Taste isn't bad, but expect to feel bloated and lethargic for hours after
4- McDonalds- Trying too hard to be hip, food still sucks
5- Little Ceasars- Just awful pizza, weak sauce, sparse cheese and toppings. May vary depending on location

Top 5 Best 5 Fast Food chain (best being a relative term)

1- Carl's Jr- Many may disagree, but the Western Bacon Cheeseburger and fries put this at the top for me
2- Dairy Queen- Personal bias, I know the owners of our local DQ and two grandaughters work there. But the food also never disappoints.
3- In n'Out Burger- Fresh ingredients, well-done fries. Their employees freak me out, seem brainwashed to always smile
4- Subway- Fresh ingredients, not the best, but unlimited options make it hard to come away disappointed
5- Crown Burger- I can only eat here once in a while, and it is SLC only, but the burgers and onion rings are great

[Rocker Ute]

Top 5 Bald Man Haircuts

5. Combover - this is a non-threatening man to not be trusted or considered, he is trying to hide something and badly.

4. Don't care anymore - typically long, sticking up in the air also known as The Mad Scientist

3. Finger Length - attempting to fit into society the best he can, if accompanied with a mustache he is a mass murderer among your congregation a la BTK.

2. Close trim - wants the look of #1 but lacks the conviction. Shouldn't be trusted to not try to take your job, particularly if they wear colored button down shirts and suits.

1. Shaved head - Bull Shannon was ahead of his time. Impossible to not look like a criminal, shaving your head daily requires conviction, this man is better at everything than you.

[LA Ute]

Top 5 wardrobe mistakes in a professional environment:

5. Spandex.

4. Dress shirt, open collar, undershirt visible. There's a reason it is called underwear. We don't want to see it.

3. Vans. Really?

2. Shirt tail out. Try not to look like you work in the mail room. (Our mail room guys dress neatly.)

1. Shirt tail out with jeans and vans. Try not to look like an idiot.

[Scratch]

Top 5 wardrobe mistakes in a professional environment:

5. Spandex.

4. Dress shirt, open collar, undershirt visible. There's a reason it is called underwear. We don't want to see it.

3. Vans. Really?

2. Shirt tail out. Try not to look like you work in the mail room. (Our mail room guys dress neatly.)

1. Shirt tail out with jeans and vans. Try not to look like an idiot.

Your head would explode if you worked at my firm.

[LA Ute]

Your head would explode if you worked at my firm.

I can (and do) let a lot go. I'm just goofing around here. Still, I've heard about those Orange County surfer boy law firms. I'm not surprised.

[Rocker Ute]

This one's for Rocker:

http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2014/06/a-definitive-ranking-of-tom-cruises-running-in-every-film-in-which-he-runs/

After seeing this I take it all back, Tom Cruise is awesome.