Utah one of The Five Most Stressful Places to Live in the U.S.

[tooblue]

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/04/25/the-five-most-stressful-places-to-live-in-the-u-s/


Rhode Island, Kentucky, Utah and Massachusetts didn’t fare much better, coming in right behind. Worrisomely, West Virginia, Kentucky and Utah have ranked in the top five consistently for the past five years, though it is unclear why.

5 Most Stressful States

1. West Virginia
2. Rhode Island
3. Kentucky
4. Utah
5. Massachusetts

5 Least Stressful States

1. Hawaii
2. Louisiana
3. Mississippi
4. Iowa
5. Wyoming

[Solon]

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/04/25/the-five-most-stressful-places-to-live-in-the-u-s/

So, what are the likely reasons for all that stress?
Poverty and social ills in Appalachia?
Huge unemployment in Rhode Island? (still over 9%)
Traffic jams in Boston?
Logistics of large families in Utah?

That's a really interesting combination of states that doesn't break down along the usual political or urban/rural lines.

[GUBA]

It is not surprising to me at all. Speaking as an outsider who has only lived her 6 years I find Utahns fairly closed off and stand offish. Most are fairly friendly but only superficially so. Also I find a lot to be overly serious and lacking in a sense of humor. Also while hard work is a virtue I find many Utahns to be overly focused on work and lacking in time for recreation. Even those among my neighbors and associates who do take time for recreation it is often in the form of training for something or competing in something rather than purely for fun.

[Rocker Ute]

It is not surprising to me at all. Speaking as an outsider who has only lived her 6 years I find Utahns fairly closed off and stand offish. Most are fairly friendly but only superficially so. Also I find a lot to be overly serious and lacking in a sense of humor. Also while hard work is a virtue I find many Utahns to be overly focused on work and lacking in time for recreation. Even those among my neighbors and associates who do take time for recreation it is often in the form of training for something or competing in something rather than purely for fun.

I schedule 15 minutes a day to laugh about things.

[LA Ute]

I schedule 15 minutes a day to laugh about things.

But not loudly or in a light-minded manner, I trust.

[chrisrenrut]

It is not surprising to me at all. Speaking as an outsider who has only lived her 6 years I find Utahns fairly closed off and stand offish. Most are fairly friendly but only superficially so. Also I find a lot to be overly serious and lacking in a sense of humor. Also while hard work is a virtue I find many Utahns to be overly focused on work and lacking in time for recreation. Even those among my neighbors and associates who do take time for recreation it is often in the form of training for something or competing in something rather than purely for fun.

In my job, I can see that one of the things that attracts our Fortune 50 company to locate many jobs in Utah is the work ethic. The culture is to work hard and do things right, and you will be rewarded. It goes overboard sometimes, however. Sometimes I feel like a Japanese businessman from the 80's, where it there is an unwritten expectation that you arrive early, take a 15 minute lunch, and leave late every day. But when I really think about it, I impose a lot of those expectations on myself.

I would have to add that the predominant religion of the state also adds to the stress. The old joke is that if you leave the church, you get a 10% raise And Sundays off. I know that could releive a lot of my stress. And it can be much more than that if you have certain callings. I asked to be released form a calling a couple of years ago because there wasn't enough time in the day and week to fulfill my responsibilities at work and church. I know some people thought less of me for doing so, but the stress of not being able to fulfill what I needed to do was doing me harm. I know putting in the effort of 'magnifying' the calling should be reward, blessing, etc. enough to make up for it, but sometimes it is too much.

[Virginia Ute]

Maybe it's all just random. It's hard to get meaningful info out of a survey like this. Also, the spread is not all that large. West Va is #1 at 47%, but Louisiana is #49 at 38%. Not even a 10 point difference. What time of the day are they making these calls? Always the same time for each state? Probably not.

This. It is a one question survey. Hard to really glean anything meaningful out of it at all.

[Diehard Ute]

This. It is a one question survey. Hard to really glean anything meaningful out of it at all.

And because of that it all depends on the day they call.

If you'd called me during the academy you would have thought I was the most stressed person on the planet, after I was off FTO my stress went down, I'm sure everyone has ebbs and flows like this.

Given what we know about depression etc being seasonally affected just when they call could change things.

I don't give it much value.

[UteBeliever aka Port]

I think the "keeping up with the Joneses" deal is overplayed and I don't believe it's the reason for stress in Utah. I've lived other places and it's not a uniquely Utah phenomenon. It's not a term that was invented or popularized in Utah.

That being said, here are my thoughts for why Utah is a stressed out state:

1) Larger families - More kids = more stress. More emotional, financial and time stress.
2) Kids are more involved in extracurricular activities. It takes even more time and money to have kids engaged in "better" pursuits such as sports, music and Scouting.
3) Lower wages than surrounding states and a cost of living that is not reflective of that lower wage.
4) 10% or more of that lower wage in many cases is given in tithes and offerings.
5) A recent study showed the average Mormon (and there are a lot of them in Utah, right?) spends 2.5-3 hours doing Church related things IN ADDITION to the 3 hour block on Sunday.
6) Sunday is verbotten. Much of Utah tries to cram all of its housework, yardwork and playtime into a single weekend day: Saturday. Saturday becomes one of the single most stressful days of the week.
7) For those that are not LDS in Utah, many of the customs and laws can cause constant irritation...such as laws regarding alcohol or blue laws that prohibit car dealerships from opening on Sunday. Ongoing tension, dramatic or not, between the LDS and non-LDS communities.

[DrumNFeather]

I remember when I was on my mission I went to a fireside that was given by a psychologist who quoted a bunch of stats about the amount of Prozac distribution in Salt Lake and Provo and how it was among the highest in the nation per capita. One of the main points of his thesis was that LDS are a goal oriented people...but those goals often extend beyond the realm of what we can control. In his view, because the LDS population sets its sights on eternal goals that are impossible to reach in every day life, it makes us as a people more depressed to find ourselves falling short. Perhaps this is one of the things that leads to Utah being so stressed out...if you have people focused on a set of life goals that reach beyond this life, then what can they do in their daily life or even on a weekly, monthly, or yearly basis that would enable them to feel any kind of a sense of accomplishment. Granted, this was over a decade ago, but I found it to be somewhat of an interesting point.

[LA Ute]

D&F, I think Mormons do generally have a hard time feeling good about themselves. Talks and news reports (DNews and Ensign, etc.) about perfect LDS families and such are not helpful in this regard. This is one reason so many women hate Mother's Day sacrament meetings. We need to do better.

[Applejack]

I wonder if Utah is abnormally stressful on women.

My perspective is completely anecdotal, but I thought living in Utah was extremely low stress: lots of friends, supportive families around, relatively low cost of living, pretty low work hours (everyone saying that Utah work hour expectations are high needs to get out more), a pretty laid-back attitude about most things (even church!), not much competition, easy access to basketball gyms etc. etc.

My wife (who is not from Utah), felt completely different during her five years in the state. She felt that there was a very real and very constant focus on acquiring material goods (big house, the perfect mom car, marrying an RM doctor) and an unhealthy obsession with looks (died blond hair, super skinny, etc).

I've never been able to fully reconcile our completely different outlooks on Utah. It could be (A) that my wife is unusually sensitive to social pressures or that I am unusually oblivious to them, (B) that my upbringing in the state colors my view in a positive way, or (C) that my wife having lived in Utah only during college colors her view in a negative way. I think it's likely that all of these things play a role.

However, I think there may be a gendered effect as well - it could be the case that living in Utah is more stressful for women than men. Anyone else have this experience or the opposite one?

[stretchiute]

My wife is from the Midwest and she felt the same way (active Mormon) and would not move back to Utah for all the tea in China.

[FountainOfUte]

I wonder if Utah is abnormally stressful on women.

My perspective is completely anecdotal, but I thought living in Utah was extremely low stress: lots of friends, supportive families around, relatively low cost of living, pretty low work hours (everyone saying that Utah work hour expectations are high needs to get out more), a pretty laid-back attitude about most things (even church!), not much competition, easy access to basketball gyms etc. etc.

My wife (who is not from Utah), felt completely different during her five years in the state. She felt that there was a very real and very constant focus on acquiring material goods (big house, the perfect mom car, marrying an RM doctor) and an unhealthy obsession with looks (died blond hair, super skinny, etc).

I've never been able to fully reconcile our completely different outlooks on Utah. It could be (A) that my wife is unusually sensitive to social pressures or that I am unusually oblivious to them, (B) that my upbringing in the state colors my view in a positive way, or (C) that my wife having lived in Utah only during college colors her view in a negative way. I think it's likely that all of these things play a role.

However, I think there may be a gendered effect as well - it could be the case that living in Utah is more stressful for women than men. Anyone else have this experience or the opposite one?

That's interesting, Applejack. My wife an I are similar to the situation of you and your wife. I was raised in Utah, so Utah-isms are sort of second nature to me. My wife is from Arizona. She has noticed the Utah wife/mommy culture you mentioned with the blonde hair, tricked out minivans and SUVs, big houses, etc. My wife doesn't like that part of Utah, but she does love Utah -- like a lot. We moved down to AZ for a few years and it was actually she who wanted to move back up here. She sees that annoying LDS-female-suburb culture as more of just one slice of the population that you can easily avoid if you want to.

Anyway as for the study about Utah and stress, my take on it is that many Utahns lead busy lives -- but by choice (for better or worse). Sometimes we might feel compelled to in the case of church callings, but as our state emblem denotes, we are "industrious." We're busy running around raising families and having careers, involved in our kids upbringing: schools, teams, clubs, etc., and in this state we tend to have a couple more kids than the average American family. It can be stressful at times. I've seen just as many or more studies that point to Utah as a happy place; I don't think that's *all* because of anti-depressants. :)

There are plenty of days that if I got some anonymous poller on the phone asking me if I were stressed, I'd answer in the affirmative, and I'm not some hard-charging overachiever. In fact, my family is pretty low key. But life is busy. Raising four kids is time consuming. I get home from work and it's not rest time, it's actually go time until 9pm.

[FountainOfUte]

I hear you, and that's why my wife's life is more stressful than mine. I'm posting on a football fan site while she is dealing with the kids. Saturdays are hard for me, not because I do 1,000 things (I don't), but because I haven't built up the same endurance for my kids that my wife has. I'm an awesome Dad in small bursts, but work is often more restful than being at home.

Totally. I know EXACTLY what you're saying (as I type this from my work desk).

[Applejack]

That's interesting, Applejack. My wife an I are similar to the situation of you and your wife. I was raised in Utah, so Utah-isms are sort of second nature to me. My wife is from Arizona. She has noticed the Utah wife/mommy culture you mentioned with the blonde hair, tricked out minivans and SUVs, big houses, etc. My wife doesn't like that part of Utah, but she does love Utah -- like a lot. We moved down to AZ for a few years and it was actually she who wanted to move back up here. She sees that annoying LDS-female-suburb culture as more of just one slice of the population that you can easily avoid if you want to.

Anyway as for the study about Utah and stress, my take on it is that many Utahns lead busy lives -- but by choice (for better or worse). Sometimes we might feel compelled to in the case of church callings, but as our state emblem denotes, we are "industrious." We're busy running around raising families and having careers, involved in our kids upbringing: schools, teams, clubs, etc., and in this state we tend to have a couple more kids than the average American family. It can be stressful at times. I've seen just as many or more studies that point to Utah as a happy place; I don't think that's *all* because of anti-depressants. :)

There are plenty of days that if I got some anonymous poller on the phone asking me if I were stressed, I'd answer in the affirmative, and I'm not some hard-charging overachiever. In fact, my family is pretty low key. But life is busy. Raising four kids is time consuming. I get home from work and it's not rest time, it's actually go time until 9pm.

Thanks. I feel the same way (i.e., you can just ignore any strange subcultures you want). I lived in Utah for 20 years and knew lots of people with weird ideas/ideals, but I just ignored them. But my wife feels that the one-ups-manship of Utah is stifling and unavoidable. I wish we had stronger female representation on this site, because I would enjoy their viewpoints on this.

As an aside, when I lived in Utah I never noticed some of things of which my wife complains. Now, on my occasional sojourns back to Zion, I can't help but notice.

[Rocker Ute]

Thanks. I feel the same way (i.e., you can just ignore any strange subcultures you want). I lived in Utah for 20 years and knew lots of people with weird ideas/ideals, but I just ignored them. But my wife feels that the one-ups-manship of Utah is stifling and unavoidable. I wish we had stronger female representation on this site, because I would enjoy their viewpoints on this.

As an aside, when I lived in Utah I never noticed some of things of which my wife complains. Now, on my occasional sojourns back to Zion, I can't help but notice.

I've observed that much of the one-upsmanship is very much an area and even a ward/neighborhood type of thing here. We currently live in a neighborhood that has none of that, in fact it is the neighborhood of what I like to call, 'conspicuous poverty'. Such as successful attorneys rolling around in 20 year old Honda Accords and stuff like that.

However, we lived in a home in Holladay where the church boundaries shifted while we were there. First part was very much like the neighborhood I'm in now, some decent folks who lived well within their means. The boundaries shifted and we were in a whole new ward, and that place was very much about the Joneses. We joked that we had been teleported to the bizarro world.

My other observation is that the older and more established neighborhoods are less likely to have this problem (not always) than the places of urban sprawl. A lot of that comes from a more diverse population both in age, religions and other demographics.

[FountainOfUte]

As an aside, when I lived in Utah I never noticed some of things of which my wife complains. Now, on my occasional sojourns back to Zion, I can't help but notice.

True, but in my experience every place has it's own brand of weird local provincialism. I don't think Utah has the corner on that market, though I can't deny the "peculiar" nature of our own brand sometimes.

[LA Ute]

True, but in my experience every place has it's own brand of weird local provincialism. I don't think Utah has the corner on that market, though I can't deny the "peculiar" nature of our own brand sometimes.

Speaking of provincial attitudes, just off the top of my head I am able to think of 10 areas (ranging from fairly affluent to very affluent) in greater LA with their own distinct cultures. The residents of each think theirs is the absolute best place to live, and cannot fathom why anyone would live elsewhere. Within each area (province) there is LOTS of attention paid to the Joneses.

[San Diego Ute Fan]

Speaking of provincial attitudes, just off the top of my head I am able to think of 10 areas (ranging from fairly affluent to very affluent) in greater LA with their own distinct cultures. The residents of each think theirs is the absolute best place to live, and cannot fathom why anyone would live elsewhere. Within each area (province) there is LOTS of attention paid to the Joneses.

San Diegans despise these "LA Phonies".
Seriously though, some of those areas exist here as well. Especially in the 858 and 760.

[LA Ute]

San Diegans despise these "LA Phonies".
Seriously though, some of those areas exist here as well. Especially in the 858 and 760.

Then there's the Bay Area....

[San Diego Ute Fan]

Then there's the Bay Area....

That discussion could take days to dissect and unravel.

[Applejack]

Speaking of provincial attitudes, just off the top of my head I am able to think of 10 areas (ranging from fairly affluent to very affluent) in greater LA with their own distinct cultures. The residents of each think theirs is the absolute best place to live, and cannot fathom why anyone would live elsewhere. Within each area (province) there is LOTS of attention paid to the Joneses.

One of the great wonders of the world is that just about everyone lives in the "best place on earth."

[UBlender]

Piggybacking off of many of the comments regarding the stress levels of LDS people in Utah, I would add that many LDS struggle mightily with the word "no" as well as with delegation. It's a sticky situation because you are supposed to believe that your local church leaders have inspiration over "the flock" and therefore if they extend a calling or assignment it is, by extension, because God wants you to have that calling/assignment. The result is people rarely say no to a calling/assignment or ask to be released from one. You also have situations where people that have councilors or committees at their disposal will use them not nearly as much as they could/should.

My sister currently has four callings in her ward on top of doing the uber soccer mommy thing to her three kids (12, 10, 7) who are involved in endless sports, dance, scouting, etc. She doesn't get nearly enough sleep, I have gathered and her busy-ness is probably why her husband, ColoUte, hasn't joined utahby5. Personally, I would have either asked to be released from some of those or told them I wouldn't accept more callings without first getting out of the others. When my wife was pregnant with our second child she was YW president and was struggling mightily with time and stress. She finally asked to be released but it was much harder of a decision than it ever should have been given what that calling was doing to her physical, mental and emotional health during an already difficult time. LDS people have a real hard time saying no due to the inspiration that is perceived to be involved as well as the fear of being perceived as unworthy or unwilling to work.

It's probably a topic for another thread but I feel like the church intentionally tries to fill the weeks of its members with activities and involvement so they can avoid being idle and finding time for wicked rule-breaking. In the process, it creates some risks and added burdens and stresses on people. I see the amount of time some put in to church, the stress that they are under, the lack of time to spend at home with their family, the unhealthy habits that develop (i.e. no time for regular exercise, poor eating) and wonder if this is really how it is supposed be. I feel like the LDS church teeters dangerously close to the brink of an unhealthy amount of overload as far as time and stress goes much more often than many admit or recognize.

(Sorry for the LDS-centric post on something that may or may not be an LDS-fueled issue).

[Two Utes]

Piggybacking off of many of the comments regarding the stress levels of LDS people in Utah, I would add that many LDS struggle mightily with the word "no" as well as with delegation. It's a sticky situation because you are supposed to believe that your local church leaders have inspiration over "the flock" and therefore if they extend a calling or assignment it is, by extension, because God wants you to have that calling/assignment. The result is people rarely say no to a calling/assignment or ask to be released from one. You also have situations where people that have councilors or committees at their disposal will use them not nearly as much as they could/should.

My sister currently has four callings in her ward on top of doing the uber soccer mommy thing to her three kids (12, 10, 7) who are involved in endless sports, dance, scouting, etc. She doesn't get nearly enough sleep, I have gathered and her busy-ness is probably why her husband, ColoUte, hasn't joined utahby5. Personally, I would have either asked to be released from some of those or told them I wouldn't accept more callings without first getting out of the others. When my wife was pregnant with our second child she was YW president and was struggling mightily with time and stress. She finally asked to be released but it was much harder of a decision than it ever should have been given what that calling was doing to her physical, mental and emotional health during an already difficult time. LDS people have a real hard time saying no due to the inspiration that is perceived to be involved as well as the fear of being perceived as unworthy or unwilling to work.

It's probably a topic for another thread but I feel like the church intentionally tries to fill the weeks of its members with activities and involvement so they can avoid being idle and finding time for wicked rule-breaking. In the process, it creates some risks and added burdens and stresses on people. I see the amount of time some put in to church, the stress that they are under, the lack of time to spend at home with their family, the unhealthy habits that develop (i.e. no time for regular exercise, poor eating) and wonder if this is really how it is supposed be. I feel like the LDS church teeters dangerously close to the brink of an unhealthy amount of overload as far as time and stress goes much more often than many admit or recognize.

(Sorry for the LDS-centric post on something that may or may not be an LDS-fueled issue).

And when you retire they are immediately ready for you to go out on your senior mission. When I was in England on my mission, I thought it was amusing how much culture shock the older missionaries would get--adding a tremendous amount of stress to a mission. Utahns are stressed because they are running around doing 30 different things at all times and on the one day when nothing is going on (Sunday) they are just as busy and stressed.

[Jarid in Cedar]

Piggybacking off of many of the comments regarding the stress levels of LDS people in Utah, I would add that many LDS struggle mightily with the word "no" as well as with delegation. It's a sticky situation because you are supposed to believe that your local church leaders have inspiration over "the flock" and therefore if they extend a calling or assignment it is, by extension, because God wants you to have that calling/assignment. The result is people rarely say no to a calling/assignment or ask to be released from one. You also have situations where people that have councilors or committees at their disposal will use them not nearly as much as they could/should.

My sister currently has four callings in her ward on top of doing the uber soccer mommy thing to her three kids (12, 10, 7) who are involved in endless sports, dance, scouting, etc. She doesn't get nearly enough sleep, I have gathered and her busy-ness is probably why her husband, ColoUte, hasn't joined utahby5. Personally, I would have either asked to be released from some of those or told them I wouldn't accept more callings without first getting out of the others. When my wife was pregnant with our second child she was YW president and was struggling mightily with time and stress. She finally asked to be released but it was much harder of a decision than it ever should have been given what that calling was doing to her physical, mental and emotional health during an already difficult time. LDS people have a real hard time saying no due to the inspiration that is perceived to be involved as well as the fear of being perceived as unworthy or unwilling to work.

It's probably a topic for another thread but I feel like the church intentionally tries to fill the weeks of its members with activities and involvement so they can avoid being idle and finding time for wicked rule-breaking. In the process, it creates some risks and added burdens and stresses on people. I see the amount of time some put in to church, the stress that they are under, the lack of time to spend at home with their family, the unhealthy habits that develop (i.e. no time for regular exercise, poor eating) and wonder if this is really how it is supposed be. I feel like the LDS church teeters dangerously close to the brink of an unhealthy amount of overload as far as time and stress goes much more often than many admit or recognize.

(Sorry for the LDS-centric post on something that may or may not be an LDS-fueled issue).

I call this being assimilated into The Borg. My wife didn't think that was as funny as I thought I was.

[LA Ute]

Piggybacking off of many of the comments regarding the stress levels of LDS people in Utah, I would add that many LDS struggle mightily with the word "no" as well as with delegation. It's a sticky situation because you are supposed to believe that your local church leaders have inspiration over "the flock" and therefore if they extend a calling or assignment it is, by extension, because God wants you to have that calling/assignment. The result is people rarely say no to a calling/assignment or ask to be released from one. You also have situations where people that have councilors or committees at their disposal will use them not nearly as much as they could/should.

My sister currently has four callings in her ward on top of doing the uber soccer mommy thing to her three kids (12, 10, 7) who are involved in endless sports, dance, scouting, etc. She doesn't get nearly enough sleep, I have gathered and her busy-ness is probably why her husband, ColoUte, hasn't joined utahby5. Personally, I would have either asked to be released from some of those or told them I wouldn't accept more callings without first getting out of the others. When my wife was pregnant with our second child she was YW president and was struggling mightily with time and stress. She finally asked to be released but it was much harder of a decision than it ever should have been given what that calling was doing to her physical, mental and emotional health during an already difficult time. LDS people have a real hard time saying no due to the inspiration that is perceived to be involved as well as the fear of being perceived as unworthy or unwilling to work.

It's probably a topic for another thread but I feel like the church intentionally tries to fill the weeks of its members with activities and involvement so they can avoid being idle and finding time for wicked rule-breaking. In the process, it creates some risks and added burdens and stresses on people. I see the amount of time some put in to church, the stress that they are under, the lack of time to spend at home with their family, the unhealthy habits that develop (i.e. no time for regular exercise, poor eating) and wonder if this is really how it is supposed be. I feel like the LDS church teeters dangerously close to the brink of an unhealthy amount of overload as far as time and stress goes much more often than many admit or recognize.

(Sorry for the LDS-centric post on something that may or may not be an LDS-fueled issue).

Hearing stories like this makes me crazy. I've been to at least two worldwide leadership training sessions where the Q12 and FP have said we aren't to overload families with callings. It has not been a subtle message. So in our ward, when we called one woman to serve as Primary president we released her husband as YM president. We always take into account the burden a calling may create for individuals and familes. This too often gets lost at the local level, I guess. Reminds me of the bishop in our stake years ago who had a sign in his office: "If you want a job to get done, give it to a busy person." I understand that concept, but the way it's so often misapplied is really damaging, I think.

[Scratch]

Hearing stories like this makes me crazy. I've been to at least two worldwide leadership training sessions where the Q12 and FP have said we aren't to overload families with callings. It has not been a subtle message. So in our ward, when we called one woman to serve as Primary president we released her husband as YM president. We always take into account the burden a calling may create for individuals and familes. This too often gets lost at the local level, I guess. Reminds me of the bishop in our stake years ago who had a sign in his office: "If you want a job to get done, give it to a busy person." I understand that concept, but the way it's so often misapplied is really damaging, I think.

One of the problems the church faces in this regard is that a lot of "veteran" members are simply refusing to accept demanding callings, and in some instances any callings at all. I've heard many bishops from many different areas bemoan this problem.

[Utah]

I remember when I was on my mission I went to a fireside that was given by a psychologist who quoted a bunch of stats about the amount of Prozac distribution in Salt Lake and Provo and how it was among the highest in the nation per capita. One of the main points of his thesis was that LDS are a goal oriented people...but those goals often extend beyond the realm of what we can control. In his view, because the LDS population sets its sights on eternal goals that are impossible to reach in every day life, it makes us as a people more depressed to find ourselves falling short. Perhaps this is one of the things that leads to Utah being so stressed out...if you have people focused on a set of life goals that reach beyond this life, then what can they do in their daily life or even on a weekly, monthly, or yearly basis that would enable them to feel any kind of a sense of accomplishment. Granted, this was over a decade ago, but I found it to be somewhat of an interesting point.

There is so much Prozac in Utah because we can't self medicate. We aren't any worse than any other people, we just aren't allowed to crack a cold one after work to unwind.

[Utah]

Piggybacking off of many of the comments regarding the stress levels of LDS people in Utah, I would add that many LDS struggle mightily with the word "no" as well as with delegation. It's a sticky situation because you are supposed to believe that your local church leaders have inspiration over "the flock" and therefore if they extend a calling or assignment it is, by extension, because God wants you to have that calling/assignment. The result is people rarely say no to a calling/assignment or ask to be released from one. You also have situations where people that have councilors or committees at their disposal will use them not nearly as much as they could/should.

My sister currently has four callings in her ward on top of doing the uber soccer mommy thing to her three kids (12, 10, 7) who are involved in endless sports, dance, scouting, etc. She doesn't get nearly enough sleep, I have gathered and her busy-ness is probably why her husband, ColoUte, hasn't joined utahby5. Personally, I would have either asked to be released from some of those or told them I wouldn't accept more callings without first getting out of the others. When my wife was pregnant with our second child she was YW president and was struggling mightily with time and stress. She finally asked to be released but it was much harder of a decision than it ever should have been given what that calling was doing to her physical, mental and emotional health during an already difficult time. LDS people have a real hard time saying no due to the inspiration that is perceived to be involved as well as the fear of being perceived as unworthy or unwilling to work.

It's probably a topic for another thread but I feel like the church intentionally tries to fill the weeks of its members with activities and involvement so they can avoid being idle and finding time for wicked rule-breaking. In the process, it creates some risks and added burdens and stresses on people. I see the amount of time some put in to church, the stress that they are under, the lack of time to spend at home with their family, the unhealthy habits that develop (i.e. no time for regular exercise, poor eating) and wonder if this is really how it is supposed be. I feel like the LDS church teeters dangerously close to the brink of an unhealthy amount of overload as far as time and stress goes much more often than many admit or recognize.

(Sorry for the LDS-centric post on something that may or may not be an LDS-fueled issue).

This is where the whole, "think it out in your mind then come ask me" mentality needs to come into play. Our last Elder's Quorum President would call in the Elders and have a frank discussion with each of them. It would go like this:

We have these callings that need to be filled: 1, 2, and 3.
1 takes this much time. 2 takes this much time. 3 takes this much time. I know you are involved in: 4, 5, and 6. Do you feel like you could do any or all of these callings? Ok, thanks for your input. We will now go and pray about the callings and the Elders that feel they can do each one of them and let you know if we will go any further than this.

Smart man.

[Utah]

Another problem Utahns have in the church with callings is they don't do what they are told to do. They don't run meetings the way the First Presidency outlines for them, so instead of a 30 minute meeting every Sunday morning, PAC's turn into a 2 hour blab fest where NOTHING is EVER accomplished.

Improper activities are proposed, calling for more involvement than the church wants. And so on. If people would read the manuals that come with their callings and actually do what is recommended, it wouldn't take so long. The problem is either 1 - people are lazy and don't learn how to do their job properly, which ends up wasting time in the long run OR 2 - people want to be the next prophet and decide they can do it better than the people who have been much more successful that the yahoo can ever hope to be has outlined. Then they waste time doing unnecessary things.

[LA Ute]

This is where the whole, "think it out in your mind then come ask me" mentality needs to come into play. Our last Elder's Quorum President would call in the Elders and have a frank discussion with each of them. It would go like this:

We have these callings that need to be filled: 1, 2, and 3.
1 takes this much time. 2 takes this much time. 3 takes this much time. I know you are involved in: 4, 5, and 6. Do you feel like you could do any or all of these callings? Ok, thanks for your input. We will now go and pray about the callings and the Elders that feel they can do each one of them and let you know if we will go any further than this.

Smart man.

Yep.