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Senioritis
06-11-2013, 06:46 PM
I am in auditorium 9. There are 302 seats in this auditorium.

I am here to see The Internship.

I am the only person in this auditorium.

This does not bode well.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 06:47 PM
602

Proof (sort of).

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 06:51 PM
Kevin Costner is in the new Superman movie. I hope we get to see his nether regions in this one.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 06:52 PM
And here's Jennifer Aniston as a stripper. So her career has really taken off.

LA Ute
06-11-2013, 06:54 PM
Kevin Costner is in the new Superman movie. I hope we get to see his nether regions in this one.

He plays Jonathan Kent. Not likely. A creepy thought, now that I am forced to think about it.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 06:54 PM
I would like to say that her performance as a stripper became much more convincing the further we got into the preview.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 06:56 PM
And here's a movie with both Taylor Lautner and Shaq. It's like opposite ends of the ab scale. Like Jiggy Watkins and Kim Tillie.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 06:59 PM
RIPD looks like a sequel to True Grit. I didn't think it needed a sequel, but whatevs.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:02 PM
This is the sixth preview. So far, the Aniston stripper movie looks like the best.

Still alone.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:07 PM
Go time. First look at Owen Wilson. He looks like Ellen Degeneres.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:11 PM
Or maybe it's Martin Short, if Martin's nose had been visciously attacked by a Rottweiler.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:18 PM
From behind, though, he looks like Markie Post. This is totally mesmerizing.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:20 PM
WILL FARRELL!!

All of the sudden, this is the best movie I've ever seen.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:25 PM
Will's character has a Sanskrit neck tattoo that says "Make Reasonable Choices."

This movie is totally worth it, no matter what happens from here on out.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:29 PM
Somehow this just became an infomercial for employment at Google. No, I am not making this up.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:32 PM
Does Google not know about Monster.com? Why the need for an infomercial?

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 07:39 PM
I should have known to not go to a movie in West Valley. I'll bet somebody is lighting my car on fire in the parking lot right now.

Wish I was watching.

WhiskyPriest
06-11-2013, 07:46 PM
One question, is the movie worth the admission price? When I saw the previews for the movie I immediately thought "I'll wait for the DVD".

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 08:01 PM
I have no words for this. It is a vortex of suck. A dark, dark abyss of hopelessness and fear. Even Will Ferrell's neck tattoo is but a shadow of a distant memory.

WhiskyPriest
06-11-2013, 08:03 PM
I have no words for this. It is a vortex of suck. A dark, dark abyss of hopelessness and fear. Even Will Ferrell's neck tattoo is but a shadow of a distant memory.

So... I guess I'll wait for the DVD.

LA Ute
06-11-2013, 08:05 PM
One question, is the movie worth the admission price? When I saw the previews for the movie I immediately thought "I'll wait for the DVD".

I think I'll wait until I am home from work alone, sick and desperately bored, and this movie comes up on a free cable channel that might offer entertaining commercials.

I can't stand Will Ferrell.

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 08:09 PM
The only thing that could make this worse would be Kevin Costner's backside.

Diehard Ute
06-11-2013, 08:22 PM
At least you can ride the kiddie coaster when you're free from your prison

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 08:54 PM
Yay! They got jobs a Google! They are super googly!

Who gives a shiznits?!?!?

Senioritis
06-11-2013, 08:58 PM
I'm jealous of the other 301 people who have been doing something else.

LA Ute
06-11-2013, 09:09 PM
I'm jealous of the other 301 people who have been doing something else.

You're not supposed to have your phone on while you're in the movie.

Newbomb Turk
06-11-2013, 09:23 PM
You're not supposed to have your phone on while you're in the movie.

It sounds like he wasn't going to distract anyone, so.........

UBlender
06-11-2013, 09:36 PM
I am in auditorium 9. There are 302 seats in this auditorium.

I am here to see The Internship.

I am the only person in this auditorium.

This does not bode well.

It's clear our pal Senioritis has run afoul of some vary dangerous people as he is clearly hiding out in the last place that anyone would expect to find "a grown-ass man" (his words, not mine) who has control of all of his faculties and is not closely related to Mr. Wilson or Mr. Vaughn.

Either that or he believes in self-punishment and has misplaced his DVDs of Utah basketball from 2006-2012. Of course, the person to seat ratio in that theater does seem to resemble the Huntsman Center lately (as in the last decade).

Hang in there, Senioritis. We can help you out of this but you have to do exactly as we say....oh, Burn Notice season 6 just arrived in the mail. Nevermind, Sen, you're on your own.

Jarid in Cedar
06-11-2013, 11:11 PM
Sweet Jesus! No wife? No "I went to the chick flick for sex" trade off? You are truly a tortured artist.

chrisrenrut
06-12-2013, 09:27 AM
Yay! They got jobs a Google! They are super googly!

Who gives a shiznits?!?!?

Come on! No spoiler alert?

Diehard Ute
06-12-2013, 10:28 AM
Sweet Jesus! No wife? No "I went to the chick flick for sex" trade off? You are truly a tortured artist.

Jarid...I'm guessing your wife never makes you go to chick flicks if you think that's one ;)

Jarid in Cedar
06-12-2013, 10:36 AM
Jarid...I'm guessing your wife never makes you go to chick flicks if you think that's one ;)

Nope. Her favorite movies are in the range of Star trek; Star Wars; Spiderman; I, Legend; Transformers; The Mummy

mUUser
06-12-2013, 09:08 PM
I'd rather have sat through 10 google movies back-to-back-to-back......, each time in a different language instead of sitting through After Earth just one time. Holy crap that was horrible.

Katy Lied
06-12-2013, 09:22 PM
My kids begged me to see After Earth. I made them go to rotten tomatoes and showed them the dismal 11% fresh rating that After Earth got. And that counts all of the Will Smith fans who go to anything he does. I compared After Earth to Fast & Furious 6 (72%) which they really liked. Then, I asked them if they really wanted to see After Earth. They decided to see Now You See Me instead.