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Thread: the home teaching thread

  1. #1

    the home teaching thread

    All right, had an experience this week and just had to share.....

    New companion, new set of families, all that jazz. Went to a family with young kids. Oldest 9, youngest 3.

    New comp starts to give his lesson and says....

    "Now kids, i want to talk to you guys.....in a few years, your bodies will start to change....."

    At this point, both parents start sweating bullets. Im embarassed but also imtrigued about where hes going.

    He steered back to the material but man, i thought i was in for a doozy.

  2. #2
    Forgot to mention that he wanted to set appointments for the rest of the calendar year.

  3. #3
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    All right, had an experience this week and just had to share.....

    New companion, new set of families, all that jazz. Went to a family with young kids. Oldest 9, youngest 3.

    New comp starts to give his lesson and says....

    "Now kids, i want to talk to you guys.....in a few years, your bodies will start to change....."

    At this point, both parents start sweating bullets. Im embarassed but also imtrigued about where hes going.

    He steered back to the material but man, i thought i was in for a doozy.
    ...😳...

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    ......
    This guy has been our home teacher before. When our second child was born, there was some minor complications that required us to stay a couple of extra days at the hospital. I went to church the first sunday that we were home with my older child, it lined up just about right that my wife could get a nap while we were gone and the baby was sleeping. This guy comes up to me after the block and says hi and then asks if he can come home teaching in a little bit......

    As a general rule, I try to be very very kind and polite to people when I am in person. If I have something bad to say, I generally wait until I get home so that I can trash them on a message board, being the good Christian that I am........

    Well, I was not kind or polite to this guy at all. First of all, I had asked this guy before to give me a few days at least. Maybe I have the wrong attitude, but even in normal circumstances, I am not willing to juggle things and delay nap time (kids or especially mine!!!) so that my home teachers can come over and get 100% for the month. I love having them over, but I just need some notice first. Second of all, not a "how are you?" or "how is your wife?" the first thing out of your mouth is "Can I come over in a bit?" No, no, no, and no again. You may not.

    I am actually laughing thinking about what would have happened if he had gone with the maturation clinic approach at my house. My wife would have cut him off and probably asked him to leave.

    Can't wait to see what the future holds.....

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    Forgot to mention that he wanted to set appointments for the rest of the calendar year.


    Lucky



    so what was the body change lesson really about?

  6. #6
    HT is a hot topic on our ward right now. The EQ has averaged single digit percentages each month this year. If it wasn't for the topic du jour (sabbath), there would be a pulpit pounding, hell-fire-brimstone on the 5th Sunday. Instead, the poor EQP gets to take the brunt.l in some one-on-ones with the bishop and high councelor.

    I think it might be time for the church to realize that the millenials are not a generation that is not as comfortable with face to face visits. It may be Time to start allowing visits by text or email for certain demographics.

    But I do recognize the good that comes from regular visits. Our ward and has about 60 single or widowed ladies. The RS and HPG do a great job of caring for them using VT/HT.
    Dyslexics of the world, untie!

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Brian View Post
    Lucky



    so what was the body change lesson really about?
    I sat through his meandering lesson for 25 minutes, and I am not even sure myself. His basic idea was that Satan will try to steer you off the path as your bodies develop (as opposed to as a young child, or a mature adult when he leaves you alone?) and then he went back to President Monson's message. It was creepy, quite frankly.

    Quote Originally Posted by chrisrenrut View Post
    HT is a hot topic on our ward right now. The EQ has averaged single digit percentages each month this year. If it wasn't for the topic du jour (sabbath), there would be a pulpit pounding, hell-fire-brimstone on the 5th Sunday. Instead, the poor EQP gets to take the brunt.l in some one-on-ones with the bishop and high councelor.

    I think it might be time for the church to realize that the millenials are not a generation that is not as comfortable with face to face visits. It may be Time to start allowing visits by text or email for certain demographics.

    But I do recognize the good that comes from regular visits. Our ward and has about 60 single or widowed ladies. The RS and HPG do a great job of caring for them using VT/HT.
    Holy wow! single digits! Man, I mean, I know that a lot of people are apathetic about home teaching but wow..........

    I obviously don't know the situation, but it seems pretty dumb to come down hard on the EQP.........I mean, is he supposed to HT the entire ward? You can only do so much. Now, if he is part of the "ah, who cares?" mentality, then yeah.

    As a general rule, I think home teaching ought to be brief. I want the family to feel comfortable with me so that when those times come when they need help, they can call me without hesitation. I don't want to occupy a lot of their time with visits though, there is a balance I think. I would feel awful if a family needed help but didn't ask because I seemed to be in a rush all the time.

    That said, some of the best visits Ive ever had were with my Dad as a kid going to visit the widows. Sometimes, we'd be there an hour and a half or two hours. That was what they needed.

  8. #8
    Our new EQP has been calling people up and saying "Who do you want to home teach?" "who do you want to home teach you?" Taking a little more of a true friendship approach to the program. I like it.
    “It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.”

    Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by chrisrenrut View Post
    HT is a hot topic on our ward right now. The EQ has averaged single digit percentages each month this year. If it wasn't for the topic du jour (sabbath), there would be a pulpit pounding, hell-fire-brimstone on the 5th Sunday. Instead, the poor EQP gets to take the brunt.l in some one-on-ones with the bishop and high councelor.

    I think it might be time for the church to realize that the millenials are not a generation that is not as comfortable with face to face visits. It may be Time to start allowing visits by text or email for certain demographics.

    But I do recognize the good that comes from regular visits. Our ward and has about 60 single or widowed ladies. The RS and HPG do a great job of caring for them using VT/HT.
    So I don't know your exact ward makeup, but if it rings true with a typical ward, if you get the EQP, his counsellors and secretary to actually home teach you'll jump right up to 30-40%. If they go and do visits weekly you'll get it even higher.

    That being said, I hate the numbers thing. Home teaching is absolutely the law of Moses. 'You can't simply love your neighbor? Okay, we'll assign you to do it.'

    I used to be a hater of home teaching and was a horrible one myself. I got assigned two separate single widows who sincerely needed help and it changed my attitude completely. I don't do conventional home teaching though (as described in this thread) which is pretty horrible. Instead we invite them over for dinner or different activities we are doing and do things to become actual friends. It has been a good experience ever since.


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  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    I sat through his meandering lesson for 25 minutes, and I am not even sure myself. His basic idea was that Satan will try to steer you off the path as your bodies develop (as opposed to as a young child, or a mature adult when he leaves you alone?) and then he went back to President Monson's message. It was creepy, quite frankly.



    Holy wow! single digits! Man, I mean, I know that a lot of people are apathetic about home teaching but wow..........

    I obviously don't know the situation, but it seems pretty dumb to come down hard on the EQP.........I mean, is he supposed to HT the entire ward? You can only do so much. Now, if he is part of the "ah, who cares?" mentality, then yeah.

    As a general rule, I think home teaching ought to be brief. I want the family to feel comfortable with me so that when those times come when they need help, they can call me without hesitation. I don't want to occupy a lot of their time with visits though, there is a balance I think. I would feel awful if a family needed help but didn't ask because I seemed to be in a rush all the time.

    That said, some of the best visits Ive ever had were with my Dad as a kid going to visit the widows. Sometimes, we'd be there an hour and a half or two hours. That was what they needed.
    25 minute lesson???
    Dang, that's pretty long.

    I've been home teaching once in the last 8 years we've lived here. Just not interested in it. We've identified some people in the ward that need some help and we do what we can to befriend them. My wife is really perceptive about these things. A *very* poor lady in the ward was having some real challenges and so she had some flowers delivered to her with a card that simply said "You are loved" She made a huge deal about it on FB, and said that she'd never received flowers before. Really made her week. I love being with kids, so each week I try and have a personal, positive interaction with someone in primary. So, that's how we try and do our home teaching.

    After a few times of saying "we're fine, we'll call you if we need anything", we've never had anyone visit either. 8 years. Not bad.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    .....Instead we invite them over for dinner or different activities we are doing and do things to become actual friends. It has been a good experience ever since.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I admire your attitude, but honestly, I'd rather a HT'er come over for his 30 minute visit every month and text me "everything ok?" a couple weeks later.....and leave it at that.

    I feel like my time is more important than establishing another inorganic friendship. But in the end, its nice it gets done one way or another.
    “Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads.” -- Harry S. Truman

    "You never soar so high as when you stoop down to help a child or an animal." -- Jewish Proverb

    "Three-time Pro Bowler Eric Weddle the most versatile, and maybe most intelligent, safety in the game." -- SI, 9/7/15, p. 107.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by mUUser View Post
    I admire your attitude, but honestly, I'd rather a HT'er come over for his 30 minute visit every month and text me "everything ok?" a couple weeks later.....and leave it at that.

    I feel like my time is more important than establishing another inorganic friendship. But in the end, its nice it gets done one way or another.
    I should be clear, it is not that we are inviting them over for dinner each month, rather doing things to make our relationship more organic if you will, or an actual friendship vs a burden. I should also add that this isn't right and doesn't work for every person. So I still will come over and do the standard message on occasion too, but I'd rather be their actual friend and someone they feel they can trust versus fulfilling an obligation. We've found over the years that most of those relationships maintain despite being moved to different families too.

  13. #13
    I'm going to request that my neighbor become my HT so that all it takes is a single hello as we are passing by each other in our driveways. I'm certain he would like for me to be his HT and than that hello could count for both of us.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by RC Vikings View Post
    I'm going to request that my neighbor become my HT so that all it takes is a single hello as we are passing by each other in our driveways. I'm certain he would like for me to be his HT and than that hello could count for both of us.
    When I was EQP, I started out trying to be inspired on who to assign to each family. After months of crappy numbers, I changed to assign people who I knew were friends, or lived close to each other. I wasnt as concerned about bringing up the numbers, I just wanted there to be some kind of contact.
    Dyslexics of the world, untie!

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by RC Vikings View Post
    I'm going to request that my neighbor become my HT so that all it takes is a single hello as we are passing by each other in our driveways. I'm certain he would like for me to be his HT and than that hello could count for both of us.
    Every good EQP counts the honk and wave.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    Every good EQP counts the honk and wave.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I love my home teacher. He never visits, but drops off vegetables from his garden.

  17. #17
    All right, story time again........

    I missed going out HTing with him in September and October, because he told me about the appointments he had set the day of them (both were right after church). Im more than willing to juggle my schedule if someone legitimately needs help, but Im not willing to do so for a standard home teaching visit. That goes for my home teachers and the people I teach. Sorry, but just like everybody else, I often work long hours trying to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. Im not giving up precious family time on a whim so that we can hit 100%.

    Anyway, to combat this issue, he created a google calendar for me and him where he puts our appointment times. This past Sunday, we went back to the family where he had conducted the maturation clinic last time. This time, his lesson was 45 minutes long. And he kept asking question after question of these kids who are, again, between 3 and 9. When they didn't know an answer, he would start badgering them. Dude............know your audience. Nobody cares about your lesson, especially kids after 3 hours of church!

    His lesson was about Adam, Eve, and the Atonement. And he spent a ton of time talking about Adam and Eve being naked. It was.............awkward.

    He asked me to teach the lesson next month (look at me, moving up in the world!) and my lesson is going to be 5 minutes long at the absolute max. I have a feeling that he is going to feel that my lesson is insufficient and will probably monologue for 20 minutes after I finish.

    He also asked me to set up an appointment with another of our families. When I talked to the guy in the family, he said "thanks for checking up on us, but we are going to be out of town for basically the rest of the month with thanksgiving and all. Why don't we shoot for next month?", which is just my style. When I told my partner, he was annoyed and asked if I had nailed down an appointment for December. When I chuckled and said no, he said that we gotta nail down a december appointment or that this family would weasel their way out of future appointments. Oh brother.......

    #100PercentOrBust

  18. #18
    Great, and uncomfortable, story. Is this guy a byu grad? I hated the uber-zealous companions. Especially if they had zero social awareness.

    If you are teaching next time then I also suggest that you conduct. Don't let him bloviate on for eternity, just ask him if he wants to take one minute to comment before he says the closing prayer.

    If he complains, tell/ask the EQP to get you a new companion. Win-win! (When I was EQP I always tried to put compatible people together, and if anybody asked for a change or suggested a preferred companion, I tried to help them out).

    Our SP tried to get us to 80% home teaching for a few months, and we quickly realized that meant the EQP, missionaries, and bishopric would get left with about 70-90 families to visit every month. Ain't nobody got time for that jazz!
    Last edited by NorthwestUteFan; 11-18-2015 at 07:56 PM.

  19. #19
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    All right, story time again........

    I missed going out HTing with him in September and October, because he told me about the appointments he had set the day of them (both were right after church). Im more than willing to juggle my schedule if someone legitimately needs help, but Im not willing to do so for a standard home teaching visit. That goes for my home teachers and the people I teach. Sorry, but just like everybody else, I often work long hours trying to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. Im not giving up precious family time on a whim so that we can hit 100%.

    Anyway, to combat this issue, he created a google calendar for me and him where he puts our appointment times. This past Sunday, we went back to the family where he had conducted the maturation clinic last time. This time, his lesson was 45 minutes long. And he kept asking question after question of these kids who are, again, between 3 and 9. When they didn't know an answer, he would start badgering them. Dude............know your audience. Nobody cares about your lesson, especially kids after 3 hours of church!

    His lesson was about Adam, Eve, and the Atonement. And he spent a ton of time talking about Adam and Eve being naked. It was.............awkward.

    He asked me to teach the lesson next month (look at me, moving up in the world!) and my lesson is going to be 5 minutes long at the absolute max. I have a feeling that he is going to feel that my lesson is insufficient and will probably monologue for 20 minutes after I finish.

    He also asked me to set up an appointment with another of our families. When I talked to the guy in the family, he said "thanks for checking up on us, but we are going to be out of town for basically the rest of the month with thanksgiving and all. Why don't we shoot for next month?", which is just my style. When I told my partner, he was annoyed and asked if I had nailed down an appointment for December. When I chuckled and said no, he said that we gotta nail down a december appointment or that this family would weasel their way out of future appointments. Oh brother.......

    #100PercentOrBust
    Good grief.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  20. #20
    My home teacher tried to schedule an appointment during the Redskins game. Know your audience, brother.

    Sent from my LG-D800 using Tapatalk
    “It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.”

    Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by DrumNFeather View Post
    My home teacher tried to schedule an appointment during the Redskins game. Know your audience, brother.

    Sent from my LG-D800 using Tapatalk
    Invite him in, give him a seat in front of the TV, and offer him a mild barley drink.

  22. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by NorthwestUteFan View Post
    Invite him in, give him a seat in front of the TV, and offer him a mild barley drink.
    Haha. I had the missionaries stop by during the Utes/Georgetown game in March and was like..."you are welcome to come in and watch the game with me...but I'm not much for conversation when I'm watching the Utes."
    “It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.”

    Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by NorthwestUteFan View Post
    Great, and uncomfortable, story. Is this guy a byu grad? I hated the uber-zealous companions. Especially if they had zero social awareness.

    If you are teaching next time then I also suggest that you conduct. Don't let him bloviate on for eternity, just ask him if he wants to take one minute to comment before he says the closing prayer.

    If he complains, tell/ask the EQP to get you a new companion. Win-win! (When I was EQP I always tried to put compatible people together, and if anybody asked for a change or suggested a preferred companion, I tried to help them out).

    Our SP tried to get us to 80% home teaching for a few months, and we quickly realized that meant the EQP, missionaries, and bishopric would get left with about 70-90 families to visit every month. Ain't nobody got time for that jazz!
    At first, I thought so. He definitely gives off that "You're not a true mormon unless you are true blue to byu!" vibe but he seems pretty nuetral.

    All great suggestions! And yes, I agree, I think that a high home teaching percentage requires the EQP to take on just about all of it.

  24. #24
    I got an email in my inbox this morning from him. It was a calendar invite for a home teaching appointment in three weeks.

    I need someone to talk me into or out of changing my response between "yes" "no" and "maybe" every ten minutes so that his inbox gets filled up with my responses.

  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    I got an email in my inbox this morning from him. It was a calendar invite for a home teaching appointment in three weeks.

    I need someone to talk me into or out of changing my response between "yes" "no" and "maybe" every ten minutes so that his inbox gets filled up with my responses.
    "Propose new time"
    “It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.”

    Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

  26. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by DrumNFeather View Post
    "Propose new time"
    I like it!

  27. #27
    Wow, guess its been a year since ive updated the ongoing adventures in home teaching..............

    We found a routine. He either creates appointments for months in advance and puts them on the google calendar, or he makes them at church for right after church and I tell him no. Its worked well.

    We only have one 'family' that we home teach now, and its a single guy.

    Yesterday, I am waiting for priesthood opening exercises to start when I see my good buddy coming towards me. He tells me he set up an appointment for right after church, but its there at the church and would take no longer than ten minutes. I let my wife know Id be staying late and to just take the kids home. After church, our appointment is nowhere to be found. My partner is running all over the place asking people if they have seen him. After about twenty minutes, he calls him and the guy had forgot. My partner is giving him the usual stuff 'Well, we care about ya. please let us know if theres anything we can do......'. He hangs up the phone and just walks off without saying anything to me. So...........I took off. As Im leaving he tracks me down and apologizes for just wandering off. He asks if I am any good at spacial geometry. When I tell him no, he says, 'well, thats waht computers are for!' and that was that.

    At least its never boring!

  28. #28
    Contrary to popular legend, the original tablets that Moses brought down from the mountain did not contain a higher law. It was the 10 commandments we all know and love and have removed from our courthouses minus the "no other gods before me" commandment and in its place was home teaching. Seeing that the people couldn't handle that he changed it as we now know and said to Moses, "Can you guys go 10 minutes without melting down your jewelry and can you just try not to kill each other?"

    Home teach can do great things but it is the Law of Moses or lesser law of 'Love your neighbor." If we'd just love our neighbor like we are supposed to we wouldn't have to be assigned to do so. Tell your companion that and then suggest, "Hey, next month what if we ditch the lesson and just do a little service for our family..." If he is opposed to that he isn't getting it.

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