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Thread: Approaches to Pornography

  1. #1

    Approaches to Pornography

    I found this video to be much more helpful than the video put out by the LDS Church:


  2. #2
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Approaches to Pornography

    Some posts are popping up in this Institute subforum about pornography and it seemed they should have a home. Here it is.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    Some posts are popping up in this Institute subforum about pornography and it seemed they should have a home. Here it is.
    Wait...did LA start a porn thread?
    “The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.”
    Carl Sagan

  4. #4
    Educating Cyrus wuapinmon's Avatar
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    If you want an appeal to logos about pornography, read this. Otherwise, don't bother.


  5. #5
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UtahDan View Post
    Wait...did LA start a porn thread?
    No. I moved the first post from another thread to this one. But I did have to create this one so that there would be a thread for the post. I doubt I will be back. You know how I love porn threads. (Then again, maybe the folks on this board won't make a jihad of the whole subject, as happened on another board at another time and place.)

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    No. I moved the first post from another thread to this one. But I did have to create this one so that there would be a thread for the post. I doubt I will be back. You know how I love porn threads. (Then again, maybe the folks on this board won't make a jihad of the whole subject, as happened on another board at another time and place.)
    That's some fine tap dancing there counselor.
    “The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.”
    Carl Sagan

  7. #7
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UtahDan View Post
    That's some fine tap dancing there counselor.
    I should have known this would happen.
    Attached Images Attached Images

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    I should have known this would happen.
    There are some things around here you should ask me to do.
    “The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.”
    Carl Sagan

  9. #9
    Porn!


    -What would you do
    if you saw spaceships over Glasgow?
    Would you fear them?
    Every aircraft, every camera, is a wish that wasn't granted.

    What was that for?
    Try to be bad.


  10. #10
    "You can do a lot in a lifetime, if you don't burn out too fast. You can make the most of the distance. First, you need endurance. First, you've got to last." - Neil Pert

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by IdahoUteTroutHead View Post
    Porn!

    “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
    André Gide

  12. #12
    Lol!
    “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
    André Gide

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Jarid in Cedar View Post
    Lol!
    Wonder twin powers...............ACTIVATE!
    "You can do a lot in a lifetime, if you don't burn out too fast. You can make the most of the distance. First, you need endurance. First, you've got to last." - Neil Pert

  14. #14
    I take a hands on approach to pornography.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Snowman View Post
    I take a hands on approach to pornography.
    *Like*
    Da-da Da Da dahhh-ahhh! Screw the Y!

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Jarid in Cedar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jarid in Cedar View Post
    Lol!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jeromy in SLC View Post
    Wonder twin powers...............ACTIVATE!
    Uh-oh. What else do you fellas do at the same time?

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by FN Phat View Post
    Uh-oh. What else do you fellas do at the same time?
    Not so much doing, but there is a lifetime of inside jokes that we both instantly understand and think are funny (such as this particular video). It drives our wives crazy. Anything else, I can neither confirm nor deny.
    "You can do a lot in a lifetime, if you don't burn out too fast. You can make the most of the distance. First, you need endurance. First, you've got to last." - Neil Pert

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by FN Phat View Post
    Uh-oh. What else do you fellas do at the same time?
    When you shared a room for 20 years (and a womb for 9 months), there is a certain level of common idiosyncracies that become evident if you are around both of us for any extended time.
    “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
    André Gide

  19. #19
    58: The Epic Sex Series Part 4 – A Conversation about Pornography


    Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:22:27 — 56.6MB)
    Heather interviews Kim and Jeremy, two professionals in the arena of sex education, regarding pornography and masturbation as well as LDS attitudes about sexuality in general.
    References:
    What’s the Big Deal With Pornography? A Sex-Positive Persepective
    Rewrite of For Strength of Youth Pamphlet

    Resources:
    Our Whole Lives Lifespan Sexuality Education Curricula
    FLASH Lesson Plans
    Advocates for Youth
    Planned Parenthood Manuals and Curricula



    http://mormonexpositor.com/58-the-ep...t-pornography/

    I don't often share these here but Heather hits a home run with this. Very interesting and informative.
    Last edited by UtahDan; 12-18-2013 at 05:23 AM.
    “The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.”
    Carl Sagan

  20. #20
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UtahDan View Post
    58: The Epic Sex Series Part 4 – A Conversation about Pornography


    Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:22:27 — 56.6MB)
    Heather interviews Kim and Jeremy, two professionals in the arena of sex education, regarding pornography and masturbation as well as LDS attitudes about sexuality in general.
    References:
    What’s the Big Deal With Pornography? A Sex-Positive Persepective
    Rewrite of For Strength of Youth Pamphlet

    Resources:
    Our Whole Lives Lifespan Sexuality Education Curricula
    FLASH Lesson Plans
    Advocates for Youth
    Planned Parenthood Manuals and Curricula



    http://mormonexpositor.com/58-the-ep...t-pornography/

    I don't often share these here but Heather hits a home run with this. Very interesting and informative.
    I wonder if this topic will take off the way it has on...other boards.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  21. #21
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Approaches to Pornography

    It’s O.K., Liberal Parents, You Can Freak Out About Porn

    http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/07/17...m.facebook.com

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  22. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    It’s O.K., Liberal Parents, You Can Freak Out About Porn

    http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/07/17...m.facebook.com
    The average age of children's first exposure to hardcore pornography is between 9 - 11 years old. 70% of the exposure happens in the home, on a home computer/device (if you want the references I can provide them). Hardcore porn in this context means: images and videos of gratuitous fellatio, group sex, anal sex, submission and bondage, and even simulated rape of vulnerable women or men.

    Regardless your views on whether or not porn is harmful to consenting adults and adult relationships. It is reasonable to assert that early exposure to porn is detrimental to healthy child sexual devepment. Of course, one could argue and demand there be studies to confirm or deny the detrimental effects on children. But currently, it is not ethical or legal to expose children to porn in order to facilitate such a study. But that doesn't mean there aren't studies concerning 10 to 18 year olds and exposure to porn ...

    Those who report intentional exposure to pornography, irrespective of source, are significantly more likely to cross-sectionally report delinquent behavior and substance use in the previous year. Further, online seekers versus offline seekers are more likely to report clinical features associated with depression and lower levels of emotional bonding with their caregiver. Results of the current investigation raise important questions for further inquiry. Findings from these cross-sectional data provide justification for longitudinal studies aimed at parsing out temporal sequencing of psychosocial experiences.
    http://www.unh.edu/ccrc/pdf/jvq/CV76.pdf
    Last edited by tooblue; 07-27-2016 at 10:37 AM.

  23. #23
    Ok, i will be honest here...i have not spoken to my kids about porn. i have kids in that range. We have talked about sex in general and we use correct terms for genitelia but we haven't broached the porn subject specifically. I am worried that if we talk about it it will just make them curious to go out and find it. I am confident that they have not see anything yet. Am i just keeping my head in the sand here. Do i really need to talk to them at that young age? Looking for advice from others on this.

    Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk

  24. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Sullyute View Post
    Ok, i will be honest here...i have not spoken to my kids about porn. i have kids in that range. We have talked about sex in general and we use correct terms for genitelia but we haven't broached the porn subject specifically. I am worried that if we talk about it it will just make them curious to go out and find it. I am confident that they have not see anything yet. Am i just keeping my head in the sand here. Do i really need to talk to them at that young age? Looking for advice from others on this.

    Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk

    I don't remember who is churchy here or not, but I found that this had some good principles in it to teach all children on how to handle it. If you don't want to show it to your kids, you can repurpose it to fit your family needs.

    https://www.lds.org/media-library/vi...raphy?lang=eng

    Short story isn't IF they'll encounter pornography, but WHEN. I've read the average age for a kid to encounter pornography is 8. Teaching your kids how to handle that stuff is the key, and I would say do what we've done with our kids by telling them they'll never get in trouble with us if they've encountered porn, or even if they've spent some time with it, but to get help.

    I'm not a scientist, I don't know how addiction works, but since I work in computers I've become the neighborhood tech guy and I get questions non-stop about this and have had some disturbing encounters. I would say however that pornography has attributes of addiction that drive 8 year old girls to spend hours a day viewing it (going far beyond mere curiosity) and spouses who want to quit and simply can not. So for I don't know if it really is a public health crisis, but we treat it like a disease.

    So one story... I get a call from a client she is in tears, her 8yo daughter has viewed some porn on her laptop, which the daughter claimed was an isolated incident, with a friend at a sleep-over. She is having porn popping up on her computer and any search she enters is being auto-populated with porn sites. She asks me if I can help her clean up her computer. So I sit down and check things out and I go and look at the browsing history - months and months of hours a day of this 8yo girl looking at the most disturbing, graphic, hardcore pornography. Stuff I've never heard of, titles that would make your hair fall out. I think by just about anyone's standard that was some hard hard stuff, certainly not appropriate for an 8yo.

    I had to tell her mom what was going on, it was much more deep than she had been told and that her daughter needed counseling in a big way. It has been a tough time for that family.

    It occurred to me then that if an 8yo could develop a problem like that, then any of our kids could. So, check out that video, it explains in a way kids can understand while also not invoking curiosity (I don't think). BUT you should be talking to your kids about it and most importantly giving them avenues to handle it.

    On another note, we purchased Circle by Disney... the features I like best about it is that it has a filter combined with accountability software. Filters almost always fail, but if you can see when and what your kids are accessing (and they can see what we do too), then we are accountable to each other. Easy to set up, highly recommended.

  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Sullyute View Post
    Ok, i will be honest here...i have not spoken to my kids about porn. i have kids in that range. We have talked about sex in general and we use correct terms for genitelia but we haven't broached the porn subject specifically. I am worried that if we talk about it it will just make them curious to go out and find it. I am confident that they have not see anything yet. Am i just keeping my head in the sand here. Do i really need to talk to them at that young age? Looking for advice from others on this.

    Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk
    We speak to all of our children, even the youngest who is 8, openly and honestly about sex in general, but also warn them about pornography. The most important issue for us is our desire to develop good lines of communication early and to help our children have a healthy outlook on sexuality. Porn does not promote a healthy outlook.

    Rocker is correct. It is not a matter of if but when. In taking the approach we have above, our pre-teen has come to us about things he has already seen or heard talked about among his circle of friends at school. He naturally has questions. Far better he get good answers from my wife and I than from the prepubescent boys on the playground. We explain how normal an interest in sex is—how normal he is for being interested, but that he does not need to worry about sex right now at this stage of his life.

    What's more, he can ask us anything about sex. For example he asked: "Do you and Mom like sex." "Absolutely!" was the best and only answer. We always come away from such conversations laughing and at ease. Which is much better than the moodiness associated with secrecy and self-loathing. And we have not noticed him more curious than what is normal. When he does see things he continues to come and talk to us. Which is a blessing.

    He is setting a good pattern for his younger brother who is 8. We wish we could have been as effective with our older boys when they were younger. Regardless, we talk even more openly with them. We always come away from such conversations laughing and at ease—mostly. It's just different. I will say they a very open and honest with us, and that they have a healthy outlook on sex. For which I am very grateful.
    Last edited by tooblue; 07-28-2016 at 08:58 AM.

  26. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    I don't remember who is churchy here or not.
    I'm not. Please make a note.
    One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike -- and yet it is the most precious thing we have.

    --Albert Einstein

    The fact that life evolved out of nearly nothing, some 10 billion years after the universe evolved out of literally nothing, is a fact so staggering that I would be mad to attempt words to do it justice.

    --Richard Dawkins

    Be kind to all, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.

    --Philo

  27. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    I'm not. Please make a note.
    You've hidden it well. I think we are all shocked by this.

  28. #28
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeattleUte View Post
    I'm not. Please make a note.
    I thought you belonged to the church of kindness.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  29. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Sullyute View Post
    Ok, i will be honest here...i have not spoken to my kids about porn. i have kids in that range. We have talked about sex in general and we use correct terms for genitelia but we haven't broached the porn subject specifically. I am worried that if we talk about it it will just make them curious to go out and find it. I am confident that they have not see anything yet. Am i just keeping my head in the sand here. Do i really need to talk to them at that young age? Looking for advice from others on this.

    Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk
    We have it in a regular rotation ever since our eight year old was shown something on a friend's phone at recess. He's our oldest; the youngest will grow up with these talks. It's a pretty easy talk to have. I would do it. I think you'll regret it if you find your children are getting their porn info from another source.

  30. #30
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    We started with our kids at age 6 and gradually got more detailed as they grew older. At first they were bored with the subject. Over time it became clear they were more and more curious. It has produced a nice, candid atmosphere around the subject.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

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