"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
--Yeats
“True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”
--John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell
Its kind of like Phoenix... it is mandatory to have a pool to live there. I will say, I would take 3 months of heat and being trapped inside during daylight to the 5 months of cold and being trapped inside day and night and gunk in the air we get in SLC right now.
The ONLY thing that keeps me from losing my mind in the winter is a season ski pass that gets me out of the inversion and outdoors. In my household we are basically one season pass away from doing a Utah version of The Shining.
It looks like the football team got busted performing baptisms on players again! De’Vonte Henry Cole turned his red shirt in for a white jump suit today. Cool.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Just learned we are singing my two favorite hymns in church today, an I have no voice after the game last night. The sacrifices you make sometimes.
“To me there is no dishonor in being wrong and learning. There is dishonor in willful ignorance and there is dishonor in disrespect.” James Hatch, former Navy Seal and current Yale student.
Last edited by LA Ute; 11-13-2018 at 11:38 AM.
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
--Yeats
“True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”
--John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell
we had a suicide in our ward this week, active LDS female, returned missionary, college graduate, married with 3 kids took her life. We heard 4-5 sirens close by that night, but didn't learn what had happened till the next day. Our bishop could barely get through conducting the sacrament service today, he was understandably overcome with emotion. It has been difficult and harrowing to watch and pretty humbling for our ward/neighborhood.
How awful. I’m sure the ward is rallying around the family. There’s always a lot of pain, sadness, and anguish combined with guilt in those situations. A close colleague of mine just lost her brother to suicide last Thursday. He had a long history of mental illness, and she is now struggling with feelings of guilt over not doing more to help him. It is such a tough thing.
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
--Yeats
“True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”
--John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell
Ugh, I’m dreading today. The funeral is this afternoon for a lady in our ward/neighborhood that killed herself. I’ve been to funerals, but can’t ever recall attending one under these circumstances. Typically, I find LDS funerals mostly comforting, even when the death was someone young or if the death was sudden and unexpected. Usually I have a feeling of hope and comfort after, but this one just feels different (dark and bleak). My wife is struggling. Lots of mixed emotions of guilt, anger and sadness. Thanks for allowing me to vent, just needed to get it out somewhere.
My wife's brother committed suicide around 15 years ago. It's an incredibly sad time. We felt many of the emotions come into play: sadness, anger, guilt, confusion. It can be hard to know how to feel, let alone provide solace and support to those closest to the victim. And sometimes religious doctrine doesn't give solace, but can make things worse.
It's been said that we won't be tempted beyond our ability to bear in this life, but the reality is that some mental illness is more than some can bear. It's impossible for us to know what thoughts were tormenting the person who chose to take their life. But our faith tells us that Christ knows their pain intimately, as well as those who are left behind.
“To me there is no dishonor in being wrong and learning. There is dishonor in willful ignorance and there is dishonor in disrespect.” James Hatch, former Navy Seal and current Yale student.
We had a ward member commit suicide in our old ward a number of years ago - totally rocked the ward like it sounds like this one has. He had a wife and little boy and another baby on the way. Super good guy and I don't think anyone saw it coming.
His family (including his parents, siblings etc) were obviously devastated, but it also was one of the most comforting funerals I've ever been too. They focused a lot on the Atonement, forgiveness and how the spirit can comfort everyone. They focused on all of the good he brought into the world and didn't dwell on the circumstances. It was a rallying point for the ward around the family to support his wife and children.
I hope you (and her loved ones) can find similar comfort. Comfort is out there.
Edit to add:
This prompted me to look up his wife and see what was going on as we had lost contact a while back. She had remarried, and along with her first two sons from her husband who committed suicide has four more daughters. She had posted this on FB and I think it is worth posting here. I've removed some identifying info.
It's now been 13 years today since my first husband, Justin, died. Time continues to speed up and life continues to go on. For the first time, I'm starting to see Justin in Ty. The way Ty's eyes close and his shoulders shake when he laughs. Even his smile looks more and more like Justin's. Charlie has an adventurous heart just like his dad did. He loves any opportunity he has to jump on a 4 wheeler or be outdoors. It's incredible to me to see so much of a man inside both of them that wasn't there to raise them. I see this as further evidence that our loved ones are never really gone, that they are always a part of us.
I was able to spend an afternoon with [Justin's] family after [his] dad died. It had been years since I had seen some of them, but it was also as if no time had passed at all. I felt a deep familiar love for each of them. I believe this is what heaven will feel like. No matter how long the separation from our loved ones, we will recognize their smile and their laughter and reminisce about all of the good times we had together.
I also know it's a good thing to celebrate the life I have been given. I feel blessed to be married to a man who made every effort to understand and support Ty while he wrestled this past year. Jeff never cared about this sport, but he knew it was important to Ty and so it became important to him as well. He was there to take Chuck snowboarding and celebrate with him after doing a fantastic job as stage crew for his school's musical. He has been Ty's Home teaching companion this past year and has faithfully taken Ty and expected him to teach as well. He takes the boys to the temple monthly and makes Priesthood Conference something to be cherished and remembered rather than dreaded. He is who my boys need to push them to be their best. He is their biggest fan. He doesn't take this sacred role lightly.
I believe besides my boys and his family, Justin probably loves Jeff most of all. I have felt this many times in my heart. I know they will someday meet and embrace each other. I feel blessed to have been given the life I have. It isn't always easy. My boys still hurt, I still hurt. I'm not sure that will ever really go away, but I'm not sure it's supposed to. I feel blessed to still be involved in [Justin's families] lives. [They] are the most Christ-like people I've ever met. They have always embraced me no matter what the circumstance. How grateful I am for the life I've been given. It wasn't the life I had envisioned as a Young Woman sitting in my seminary class, but it was the life I needed.
Last edited by Rocker Ute; 01-29-2019 at 02:48 PM.
The CHOI makes it clear that we should understand that people who commit suicide often (I would say usually) are not able to make good decisions. They may be buried in temple clothes. And, Elder Renlund recently spoke about the subject:
Short video of him here:There's an old sectarian notion that suicide is a sin and that someone who commits suicide is banished to hell forever. That is totally false," Elder Renlund said. "I believe the vast majority of cases will find that these individuals have lived heroic lives and that that suicide will not be a defining characteristic of their eternities."
https://youtu.be/hCR8tWKEbxo
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
--Yeats
“True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”
--John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell
We had a great discussion on the Beatitudes today. I will be pure in heart when I see God in Trump.
FAT is a dangerous meeting. The YW were in charge of the microphones and you would have thought the church made some amazing equality breakthrough. Every man over 70 that participated was “thrilled by the progress”, and were “grateful to finally have true equality” in the church. One old timer really let the men have it — we just haven’t been faithful enough and have got to do better if we’re gonna keep up with the sisters. He is so disappointed in the men in the church.
Sometimes that meeting is surreal.
“Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads.” -- Harry S. Truman
"You never soar so high as when you stoop down to help a child or an animal." -- Jewish Proverb
"Three-time Pro Bowler Eric Weddle the most versatile, and maybe most intelligent, safety in the game." -- SI, 9/7/15, p. 107.
Sacrament meeting opening prayer yesterday, a woman asked for a blessing on President Benson.
Whoops.
Unless she knows something we don't know.
No ward Mothers Day gifts this year. First time I recall them not giving something out. Not a big deal, but I thought it was a nice tradition.
In all the wards I have been in, the Mother's Day gifts have been left up to the SS presidency. The SS presidency positions don't usually go to the most reliable guys in the ward. Usually retired guys too old or apathetic for more important callings, or younger guys who need a calling that doesn't require much time or effort.
I was SS president for a while (one of they younger guys, too busy at work for a calling with a lot of time restraints), and I think the Mother's Day gift was the one big responsibility I had, other than filling in for teachers who didn't bother getting their own substitutes.
“To me there is no dishonor in being wrong and learning. There is dishonor in willful ignorance and there is dishonor in disrespect.” James Hatch, former Navy Seal and current Yale student.