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Thread: I learned in Church today

  1. #571
    wow its been a while for this thread.......

    Anyway, in the "this had great intentions but ended poorly" category, we had the four moms with missionaries out speak in SM yesterday. The first one ended with half an hour left in the meeting and with three of these left plus a primary musical, I knew id be in for a long day. Oh, we also have SM last. Fortunately, by the time the fourth mom got up to speak she realized people were anxious to get home, (meeting was already about 5 minutes past and we still had a closing hymn/prayer/youth passing out mothers day treats to go) so she just said a quick testimony and sat down.

  2. #572
    We had our high school seniors talk, all with the topic of "Moms". A couple were good, a couple were what you would expect from nervous 18 year olds.

    One kid was really nervous. After blessing the sacrament, he went and sat with his family instead of on the stand (making the councilor conducting nervous). But he came up at his appointed time. He used the standard sacrament meeting talk opening, reading the definition of mother. But the source he cited was "The Urban Dictionary defines mother as. . . ". I audibly said "Uh oh", and my wife asked what was wrong. But he read a pretty sweet definition of mothers.

    I had to see, so I tried to pull up urbandictionary.com, and to my surprise the church wifi network didn't have it blocked. I guess maybe the bishops and Stake prez might need to use it to look up some of the things they hear about in their interviews? I also didn't see the definition he read, and had to quickly shut the page lest someone look over my shoulder, because the definition and similar words were not appropriate for the setting. Maybe I heard him wrong, or perhaps it was just a fruedian slip on his part.
    Last edited by chrisrenrut; 05-11-2015 at 10:13 AM.
    Dyslexics of the world, untie!

  3. #573
    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    Oh, we also have SM last.
    We also have sacrament last, but I learned yesterday that our ward will be going SM first starting next month (under first presidency orders, says our SP and bishop). It will be interesting to see how that changes things if at all.

  4. #574
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    We have had SM first for years now and it works out pretty nicely. Going overtime is much less common, I guess because people know there are other meetings to get to.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  5. #575
    Quote Originally Posted by Sullyute View Post
    We also have sacrament last, but I learned yesterday that our ward will be going SM first starting next month (under first presidency orders, says our SP and bishop). It will be interesting to see how that changes things if at all.
    I am hopeful that our ward and stake go this route also. Now that we are established where we live, it works out fine. But that first time at church was a nightmare, having to figure out where different classes were meeting, to add to the fact that you know, there is stress in just being new. I much prefer SM first, where you can approach a bishopric member after the meeting and get them to point you in the right direction.

  6. #576
    We moved into a ward with SM last a little over a year ago. I expected to hate it but must say that I have actually liked it quite a bit. The main reason is that I have three little kids. The older two are in primary and nursery and seem to get their energy out quite well prior to SM and are therefore much less restless through SM than they used to be when it was first. I had also worried about the increased likelihood of going over time but it has never happened. Everyone seems really good about knowing that we need to be done on time. EQ also seems to be a lot easier with better involvement when everyone is not checked out and ready to be home for the day. If the church is directing everyone to have SM first then I will miss the current setup.

  7. #577
    SM last is great for people in Nursery or in Primary. When the kids are worn out from two hours of church they get sent in to be with their parents for the final hour.

    SM first is a nightmare in Nursery, and twice as bad on Fast Sunday when the kids are Hangry.

    What really needs to happen is the church somehow needs to find a way to cut away at least one hour of meetings. Two hours is about the Max that anybody should have to listen to a teacher read straight from the manual.

  8. #578
    Quote Originally Posted by NorthwestUteFan View Post
    SM last is great for people in Nursery or in Primary. When the kids are worn out from two hours of church they get sent in to be with their parents for the final hour.

    SM first is a nightmare in Nursery, and twice as bad on Fast Sunday when the kids are Hangry.

    What really needs to happen is the church somehow needs to find a way to cut away at least one hour of meetings. Two hours is about the Max that anybody should have to listen to a teacher read straight from the manual.
    You make 18 month old kids fast? No wonder you are angry at the church.

  9. #579
    Senior Member Scorcho's Avatar
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    I think some of you are failing to see the beauty of primary/nursery. You drop the kids off for 50 minutes of ME time.

    Nachos, sex, NFL all have the Sabbath day seal of approval.

  10. #580
    Quote Originally Posted by Scorcho View Post
    I think some of you are failing to see the beauty of primary/nursery. You drop the kids off for 50 minutes of ME time.

    Nachos, sex, NFL all have the Sabbath day seal of approval.
    When my wife and I were first married and living in San Diego, she was in the Primary Presidency and on a regular basis an inactive family in the Ward would drop their kids off in the nursery and Primary and go shopping. We has Sacrament meeting first, so they basically received 2 hours of free baby-sitting.

  11. #581
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocker Ute View Post
    You make 18 month old kids fast? No wonder you are angry at the church.
    If your kids are tired and cranky I would rather have you deal with them yourself.

    3-hours of church is tough on an adult. But it is nearly impossible for young children.

  12. #582
    Quote Originally Posted by Scorcho View Post
    I think some of you are failing to see the beauty of primary/nursery. You drop the kids off for 50 minutes of ME time.

    Nachos, sex, NFL all have the Sabbath day seal of approval.
    If all at the same time, then George Costanza would be proud!!

  13. #583
    I guess this belongs here... My kids are getting out Monopoly to play, my wife knowing I'm not a big fan of games and my family didn't really play a lot of board games asks, "Did you guys have Monopoly when you were a kid?"

    "No, but I think someone gave us a game called Mormonopoly that we played a few times..."

    My wife starts laughing. "Mormonopoly? What was it like?"

    I respond, "I don't really remember much except when you won you owned City Creek mall..."

    "Ha ha. You think you are sooooo funny..."

    So who else here had Mormonopoly? Ours was homemade, likely a Relief Society project.

  14. #584
    Got word that our schedule will be changing from Sacrament meeting last to Sacrament meeting first come August. Apparently, the guidance has come from high up the chain that this needs to happen wherever possible.

    Has anyone else received this news?

  15. #585
    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    Got word that our schedule will be changing from Sacrament meeting last to Sacrament meeting first come August. Apparently, the guidance has come from high up the chain that this needs to happen wherever possible.

    Has anyone else received this news?
    Yep, it's church wide. We got it too. Just when I had decided that I liked the Sac-last schedule they have to go and change it.

  16. #586
    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    Got word that our schedule will be changing from Sacrament meeting last to Sacrament meeting first come August. Apparently, the guidance has come from high up the chain that this needs to happen wherever possible.

    Has anyone else received this news?
    We got the directive. But right now, every building in our stake has 3 wards, so I think they are going to wait until the first of the year to make the change. That is when we normaly rotate meeting times.
    Dyslexics of the world, untie!

  17. #587
    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    Got word that our schedule will be changing from Sacrament meeting last to Sacrament meeting first come August. Apparently, the guidance has come from high up the chain that this needs to happen wherever possible.

    Has anyone else received this news?
    We got the ultimatum too. We change to Sacrament first starting next week. Also I learned that Sacrament meeting is the most important funeral we will ever attend.

  18. #588
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UtahsMrSports View Post
    Got word that our schedule will be changing from Sacrament meeting last to Sacrament meeting first come August. Apparently, the guidance has come from high up the chain that this needs to happen wherever possible.

    Has anyone else received this news?
    It's been like that forever in L.A., so we are used to it. I'm still kinda surprised that it's being pushed on a broad basis now.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  19. #589
    Well, it was Father's day yesterday so the talks were focused on.... keeping the Sabbath day holy! Missionary and High Councilman spoke with neither a mention of fathers. The primary kids did sing, but had some weird song with two full lines about grandmothers . We had great talks for Mother's day, so not sure who messed up yesterday.

  20. #590
    Quote Originally Posted by Sullyute View Post
    Well, it was Father's day yesterday so the talks were focused on.... keeping the Sabbath day holy! Missionary and High Councilman spoke with neither a mention of fathers. The primary kids did sing, but had some weird song with two full lines about grandmothers . We had great talks for Mother's day, so not sure who messed up yesterday.
    Big mandate on the Sabbath Day observance coming from HQ. Expect much much more of that. That being said, tailor your message.

  21. #591
    Quote Originally Posted by Sullyute View Post
    Well, it was Father's day yesterday so the talks were focused on.... keeping the Sabbath day holy! Missionary and High Councilman spoke with neither a mention of fathers. The primary kids did sing, but had some weird song with two full lines about grandmothers . We had great talks for Mother's day, so not sure who messed up yesterday.
    Its gender discrimination, pure and simple. Ive about had it! I was trying to change my infants diaper and in both of the mens restrooms, the changing table was inconveniently placed! Its time that we, as men, rise up and stand up to the injustices and discrimination against us that is so prevelant in the church today!

  22. #592
    Quote Originally Posted by sancho View Post
    We didn't have Mother's Day or Father's Day talks. We won't have 4th of July, Thanksgiving, or Pioneer Day talks either. The bishopric just assigns monthly topics and forgets about holidays. I think it's a shame because holiday talks inevitably lead to a decent amount of entertaining whining from overly sensitive people.
    I didn't realize that Jehovah's Witnesses also had bishoprics. I have little kids, so I didn't have the pleasure of listening to people not talk about fathers. I can verify that every male over 18 was given a cookie in recognition of maybe being a father. A single, mediocre chocolate chip cookie.

  23. #593
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-Ute View Post
    I didn't realize that Jehovah's Witnesses also had bishoprics. I have little kids, so I didn't have the pleasure of listening to people not talk about fathers. I can verify that every male over 18 was given a cookie in recognition of maybe being a father. A single, mediocre chocolate chip cookie.
    Overpayment.

  24. #594
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    WE had two talks on fathers, our YW spoke about girls' camp, and the YW laid out pastries, juice and milk for the dads during priesthood, which ended 15 minutes early so we could go pork out on the stuff in the cultural hall. The Young Men helped us consume all the goodies. My ward rocks. Neener-neener.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  25. #595
    Quote Originally Posted by LA Ute View Post
    .....our YW spoke about girls' camp......

    Our now 17 year old daughter had attended girls camp through last year, and never felt like it was worthwhile. I was always feeling like she wasn't "trying" to enjoy it. This year, through the miracle of social media, I was snooping on my wife's account and came across a couple of Bishopric and Stake Presidency skits performed at YW.

    You have got to be kidding me. Why is it we LDS take such great pride in being uncomfortably weird.....3 idiotic lip syncing skits to go along with equally idiotic dancing. Like a bad YW night on steroids. If this is par for YW camp, I feel guilty for having sent her to a week of that crap. The weirdness filters into our unique language, actions, teachings, entertainment....pretty much everything. Frustrating beyond measure.
    “Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads.” -- Harry S. Truman

    "You never soar so high as when you stoop down to help a child or an animal." -- Jewish Proverb

    "Three-time Pro Bowler Eric Weddle the most versatile, and maybe most intelligent, safety in the game." -- SI, 9/7/15, p. 107.

  26. #596
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mUUser View Post
    Our now 17 year old daughter had attended girls camp through last year, and never felt like it was worthwhile. I was always feeling like she wasn't "trying" to enjoy it. This year, through the miracle of social media, I was snooping on my wife's account and came across a couple of Bishopric and Stake Presidency skits performed at YW.

    You have got to be kidding me. Why is it we LDS take such great pride in being uncomfortably weird.....3 idiotic lip syncing skits to go along with equally idiotic dancing. Like a bad YW night on steroids. If this is par for YW camp, I feel guilty for having sent her to a week of that crap. The weirdness filters into our unique language, actions, teachings, entertainment....pretty much everything. Frustrating beyond measure.
    FWIW I've never seen bishopric skits at any girls' camp. We've had a serious tradition of making the week count. We are probably just lucky.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  27. #597
    Quote Originally Posted by mUUser View Post
    Our now 17 year old daughter had attended girls camp through last year, and never felt like it was worthwhile. I was always feeling like she wasn't "trying" to enjoy it. This year, through the miracle of social media, I was snooping on my wife's account and came across a couple of Bishopric and Stake Presidency skits performed at YW.

    You have got to be kidding me. Why is it we LDS take such great pride in being uncomfortably weird.....3 idiotic lip syncing skits to go along with equally idiotic dancing. Like a bad YW night on steroids. If this is par for YW camp, I feel guilty for having sent her to a week of that crap. The weirdness filters into our unique language, actions, teachings, entertainment....pretty much everything. Frustrating beyond measure.
    I can't imagine my bishopric doing skits.

  28. #598
    Yesterday I got a text from the second councilor in my bishopric. It was a dick pic. (Doubtful it was his.) He's a urologist, so you know, he gets a pass. Or something.

  29. #599
    Sam the Sheepdog LA Ute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-Ute View Post
    Yesterday I got a text from the second councilor in my bishopric. It was a dick pic. (Doubtful it was his.) He's a urologist, so you know, he gets a pass. Or something.

    "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
    --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
    --Yeats

    “True, we [lawyers] build no bridges. We raise no towers. We construct no engines. We paint no pictures - unless as amateurs for our own principal amusement. There is little of all that we do which the eye of man can see. But we smooth out difficulties; we relieve stress; we correct mistakes; we take up other men's burdens and by our efforts we make possible the peaceful life of men in a peaceful state.”

    --John W. Davis, founder of Davis Polk & Wardwell

  30. #600
    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Schr-Ute View Post
    Yesterday I got a text from the second councilor in my bishopric. It was a dick pic. (Doubtful it was his.) He's a urologist, so you know, he gets a pass. Or something.
    LOL, the irony! How close is your number or name to his wife's? Too funny.

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