inappropriate interviews

[UTEopia]

I'm not sure if you guys belong to the same church that I belong to. Bishops and Counselors to Bishops routinely conduct temple recommend interviews for teenagers going through the Temple for the first time (18 and 19 year olds) as well as for 12+ going to the Temple. A standard question in all of those interviews involves whether the person is morally clean. While the question can be asked in a very general way, it will be asked. Sometimes additional definition is added to make sure that the individual understands that being morally clean, in addition to avoiding sexual intercourse, means avoiding petting and oral sex. It has also been my experience that when those activities are involved, the repentance process typically involves the Bishop. I had a lot of experience with those activities as a youth and went through a significant process to go on a mission that involved my speaking to Bishop, Stake President and General Authority. Although I was not asked to describe my activities in graphic detail, I was asked to tell what I had done. The process was not embarrassing and was generally quite helpful. Now, I might have felt different if I was a girl. My two daughters have also had their share of issues. What they have shared with me about the process has generally been positive. The one negative experience occurred when my 25 year old daughter had some significant issues. Her Bishop was new to the job and I think he was simply not prepared for dealing with those types of situations. My daughter moved from the area and stopped attending for a few years. I don't think that this was directly a result of the Bishop, but his response helped push her out the door as opposed to helping her back through it. This was at the same time as Prop 8 and she had serious issues with the means being used in San Diego to push the Church's position. She moved back to the same area about 4 years later and the guy was still Bishop. He saw her in the audience and approached her after the meeting. He apologized for his lack of empathy and understanding. He said that he had thought about her regularly for the past 4 years and was grateful that he had the opportunity to see her, learn that she is well and to apologize.

I have never worried about a Bishop asking these questions inappropriately. Maybe I should have.

[LA Ute]

I'm not sure if you guys belong to the same church that I belong to. Bishops and Counselors to Bishops routinely conduct temple recommend interviews for teenagers going through the Temple for the first time (18 and 19 year olds) as well as for 12+ going to the Temple. A standard question in all of those interviews involves whether the person is morally clean. While the question can be asked in a very general way, it will be asked. Sometimes additional definition is added to make sure that the individual understands that being morally clean, in addition to avoiding sexual intercourse, means avoiding petting and oral sex. It has also been my experience that when those activities are involved, the repentance process typically involves the Bishop. I had a lot of experience with those activities as a youth and went through a significant process to go on a mission that involved my speaking to Bishop, Stake President and General Authority. Although I was not asked to describe my activities in graphic detail, I was asked to tell what I had done. The process was not embarrassing and was generally quite helpful. Now, I might have felt different if I was a girl. My two daughters have also had their share of issues. What they have shared with me about the process has generally been positive. The one negative experience occurred when my 25 year old daughter had some significant issues. Her Bishop was new to the job and I think he was simply not prepared for dealing with those types of situations. My daughter moved from the area and stopped attending for a few years. I don't think that this was directly a result of the Bishop, but his response helped push her out the door as opposed to helping her back through it. This was at the same time as Prop 8 and she had serious issues with the means being used in San Diego to push the Church's position. She moved back to the same area about 4 years later and the guy was still Bishop. He saw her in the audience and approached her after the meeting. He apologized for his lack of empathy and understanding. He said that he had thought about her regularly for the past 4 years and was grateful that he had the opportunity to see her, learn that she is well and to apologize.

I have never worried about a Bishop asking these questions inappropriately. Maybe I should have.

I have never known of any inappropriate questions being asked, but then again, we've always known our bishops quite well. In a church as big as ours, I am not surprised that there have been incidents. Still, it's not something we have ever worried about.